May 2008 Archives

Deeply involved in the problem of the hostile, agitated senile are members of the family... and you, their physician.

(In case you don't know what Thorazine is...)

Phnom Penh - A Cambodian father and mechanic learned the hard way not to inflate children when he inserted an air hose designed to fill car tires into his 5-year-old son's anus and blew him up, local media reported on Thursday.

The Khmer-language Rasmei Kampuchea daily reported Try Sienghym was "playing" with his son Sok Sambo when the incident took place.

The paper said the child's stomach became distended and his concerned mother rushed him to hospital, where he remains in a stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery.

"The father very much regrets playing like this now," the paper quoted a family member as saying.

Police were not expected to take action against the father, blaming the incident on pure stupidity, against which there is currently no law.

Source

Stephen Lynch is the best.

This kid stole his grandma's SUV and hit some cars and mailboxes and shit. Also, he's a little butterball. Now, he done beat up his grandma at the Wal-Marts!

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Milton's grandmother, Vikkita Stratford, told WPBF that the 7-year-old took his mischievous activities to a new level Monday when she said he beat her up inside a Lake Park Wal-Mart.

According to Stratford, the problem began when Milton asked his grandmother for some chicken wings. When she refused, Milton walked over over to the counter and ordered them anyway.

Stratford said that when she confronted him about it, Milton just snapped."He just started hitting me -- just started hitting me in front of the whole Wal-Mart. Every one in there was upset," Stratford said.Stratford told WPBF that Milton hit her stomach, legs and "wherever he could reach me."

Riviera Beach police picked up Milton from his home and took him to an area hospital for a mental health evaluation Monday afternoon, WPBF reported. The 7-year-old can be held for up to 72 hours while he is evaluated by mental health officials.

A driving instructor enticed young girls into secluded woodland and made them kick him in the groin for sexual gratification, a jury heard today.

Oxford Crown Court heard married David Aston, 32, stripped naked and crouched on a rug on his hands and knees before twice making a group of girls kick him.

Aston, of Bell Close, Witney, denies two counts of sexual activity with a child, four of causing or enticing a child to engage in sexual activity and five of making indecent photographs of children.

Peter Coombe, prosecuting, said the defendant sent emails concerning his sexual "predilection".

Mr Coombe said Aston met a girl in an online chatroom in 2006 and arranged to meet her and a 14-year-old friend in a supermarket car park in Bicester.

After picking the girls up - both of whom claimed they were 16 years old - Aston drove to a secluded area and performed a series of sex acts with them in the car, the court heard.

Mr Coombe said: "He then got out of the car, put a towel on the ground, took off his underpants, crouched down and encouraged the two girls to kick him repeatedly.

"They each kicked him a number of times.

"Eventually he asked them to stop because it was hurting.

"He dropped them back off and gave one of them £10."

Mr Coombe said Aston then arranged a second meeting with the girls, who also brought along a 13-year-old friend.

Mr Coombe said: "He was made perfectly well aware she was aged under 16.

"The second occasion in Spring, 2006, followed the same pattern - a drive to a wooded area, one of the girls performed a sex act on him. He then got out of the car, pulled his underclothing off, crouched down on all fours and encouraged all three girls to kick him the same way as before."

He said Aston called police in May, 2006, and told them he had met a girl who was "gagging for it" - but had turned her down because she was underage.

Aston was arrested five days later and his home was searched by police.

Mr Coombe said officers found two computers containing indecent images of children - 10 on a computer in the attic and four on one in the living room.

He added: "Also on the computer were a selection of emails concerning the defendant's interest in having his groin kicked - one sent two minutes after one of the illegal images had been downloaded."

The court heard Aston handed a prepared statement to police in March, 2007, saying he had met one of the girls online and agreed a form of abuse on him would take place, and admitted one had performed a sex act on him.

But he claimed he believed all the girls were over 16.

The trial continues.

Source

OK. I can't bring myself to listen to all of these, but I'm sure there are plenty of LFHoFers in there. Just check out this awesome rap. Or this rock song (MARRRRRCH). And TheShocker's favorite, "Safe Sex Is Just a Fantasy."

Lisa Bess could not figure out why the front door to her home on West Silver Springs Boulevard was locked and the key was missing Tuesday afternoon. She couldn't figure out why her bathroom door was locked and water was running. She called the police.

When Ocala police officers kicked open the door to her bathroom at about 5 p.m., she had her answer: A man had found the extra key outside, let himself in, picked out a new outfit of her clothes to wear and took a long hot shower. They found him sitting naked on the bathroom toilet.

"There was still a stench of my body lotion; actually, water was still draining from the bathtub," Bess said. "And he was refusing to get off the toilet until he finished doing his business."

...

The time in the house gave him a chance to shower up, using Bess' Victoria's Secret lavender body wash, and shave. She could smell her body wash in the air and said there was still steam on the bathroom mirror.

"He was perfectly clean cut when we saw him, but he was wearing our clothes," she said. "I couldn't tell you what underwear he was wearing, but I don't think I want to know."

Source

A shop assistant was almost crushed by a lump of frozen urine which fell 10,000m (33,000ft) from a plane and landed at her feet.

Joanne Bojas, 25, was walking to work when the 20kg (44lb) lump of frozen toilet waste fell from the sky.

This is my nameless giant kangaroo. She is approxiamately 100 centimeters tall, standing on her feet and rested on her strong tail. Her body proportions and her sexy hindquarters makes her ideal for yiffing, so I decided to gave her a SPH (strategically placed hole).

OLPE, Germany - A 44-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of killing three of her babies after their bodies were discovered in the family freezer by her grown children looking for pizza, police said Monday.

The three infants are believed to have been born alive, but authorities were awaiting autopsy results to determine how they died, said Johannes Daheim, a spokesman for prosecutors investigating the case.

The woman, her 47-year-old husband and three adult children -- two sons, aged 18 and 22, and a 24-year-old daughter -- have lived in the town in a single-family home since 1984.

The children discovered the frozen babies on Saturday afternoon while their parents were away for the weekend, investigator Martin Feldmann said.

The 18-year-old and his sister had been looking for a frozen pizza and came across a lot of expired food so decided to clean out the freezer.

The teenager then found three identical packets on the bottom of the freezer and opened one and saw the head and arm of an infant that was wrapped in a hand towel, police said.

The children confronted their parents when they returned home Sunday, and the couple and their daughter then went to police together to tell authorities, said Herbert Fingerhut, head of the police investigation, at a news conference.

The corpulent woman apparently concealed the three pregnancies, believed to have been in the 1980s, not only from neighbors but also her own family, Fingerhut said.

Source

A suburban New York music shop owner accused of selling knockoff Gibson Les Paul guitars had to be arraigned in a pickup truck in a courthouse parking lot, after his lawyer said the 500lb defendant could not walk into the courthouse.

State Supreme Court Justice Robert Doyle said the man's 'severe weight problem', which prompted the unusual proceeding Thursday in Riverhead. A defense lawyer also had given the court a doctor's letter saying the defendant suffers from osteoarthritis.

The shopkeeper has been released without bail after pleading not guilty to trademark counterfeiting and criminal simulation. He says the case and health problems have forced him to close his store.

Source

I just want to remind everyone about what qualified as "nasty" in 1996 and to possibly introduce DV's non-existent underage listeners (cough, cough) to a classic tune that I've enjoyed since my younger days.

POLICE responding to a report of an intruder found their man asleep in his car - wearing only a pink G-string.

Minutes earlier, a bemused couple sitting in their home had been confronted by the near-naked drunk.

They had left the door of their home in the Avenue, Starbeck, Harrogate, unlocked, as they were expecting their daughter home at about 9pm.

But instead it was total stranger David Lapsley who walked in - "wearing no top and no shoes".

He appeared drunk, mumbled something to the couple and then left.

The surprised householders watched him climb into a Ford Fiesta and then called the police.

Officers found Lapsley, a 42-year-old from Lochmor, Ferrensby, near Knaresborough, asleep in the driver's seat wearing only the G-string.

He had drunk strong lager while home alone and the next thing he remembered was waking in a police cell, and asking: "What am I doing here."

Mr Rogers said: "He can't explain why he wandered into this house or why he decided to strip off in public and ended up wearing a pink G-string.

"It is not the sort of thing he goes around doing. All he can put the aberration down to is drink.

"As for the G-string, it is not his and he can't explain where it came from."

Source

A Japanese civil servant was demoted for viewing pornographic Web sites more than 780,000 times during office hours over a nine-month period, an official said Friday.

The man, an employee of the Kinokawa government in western Japan, visited porn sites from June last year to February 2008, Kinokawa official Tomiko Waki said. The man's name was withheld.

Despite his frequent porn viewing, none of his colleagues noticed his activities.

'Each desk is set apart from each other,' Waki said, adding that the man accessed porn sites 170,000 times in July alone.

The man's superiors discovered his extensive porn site visits after his computer became infected with a virus, prompting officials to examine his web browser's history.

Source

Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called... fucking outside!

(The Bee Gees - First of May)