June 2008 Archives

A Michigan man is facing charges after assaulting a woman with ten pounds of frozen chicken. Frederick McKaney is accused of stabbing his mother with a dinner fork then beating another woman over the head with frozen chicken.

Officials say McKaney stabbed his mother in the back of the neck when she refused to give him money. The Assistant Prosecutor says, the next day, McKaney was riding his bike when he saw two women. McKaney is accused of jumping off his bike and hitting one of the women in the head with ten pounds of frozen chicken.

The woman was treated at a local hospital for cuts on her head. McKaney, who does have a criminal record, is charged with felonious assault and resisting and opposing arrest.

Source

A boy's flesh was fed to cannibal relatives after his mum kept him locked in a cellar, a court has heard.

Ondrej Mauerova, 8, was partially skinned by his relatives who then ate the raw human flesh, a court has heard. Klara Mauerova - a member of a sinister religious cult - wept in court as she admitted torturing her son Ondrej and his ten year-old brother Jakub.

Read more about this Mother of the Week here.

A Los Angeles woman says she was injured by her underwear and is now suing Victoria's Secret. 

The Web site The Smoking Gun has posted the court documents in the lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court.
  
Macrida Patterson alleges that she was hurt by a defective "low-rise-v-string."

Her lawyer says a "design problem" caused a decorative metallic piece to fly off the garment and strike Patterson in her eye causing damage to Patterson's cornea.

Patterson's lawyer says the injury caused his client to miss a few days of work and he says the injury will be "affecting her the rest of her life."

Officials from Victoria's Secret reportedly asked to see the garment and the piece that allegedly flew off but were refused by Patterson's lawyer.

Source | The Smoking Gun

A teenager in Cambodia has been hospitalised after an unfortunate incident involving an angry puffer fish and his genitals.

According to local media reports, the 13-year-old was attacked by the puffer fish after it got trapped in the boy's net. Once it was released, it made a beeline for the boy's groin, and bit it.

The Koh Santepheap newspaper printed a picture of him in hospital with his testicles heavily strapped following the attack.

Source

These children have actually made me, somehow, hate spawnlings even more than I already do.  I didn't think it was possible.  Seriously.  When I see a bunch of kids running around the pizza place, I want to trip them and spit on them.  These little .. I can't even tell what gender these fuckwads are.  Anway, Go Meth!

I know, it's contrived. I snickered, though.

SHUT UP IT'S FUNNY.