Recently in Humor Category

For all your July 5 hilarity...

Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called... fucking outside!

(The Bee Gees - First of May)

The New York Times accidentally referred to the Large Hadron Collider as... well... see for yourself.

I've been gone for a while but that's not important. What is important however is that you watch the following video. I sent this clip into the show a while ago, right after I sent in the "Gays in the Army" clip from Brass Eye. The following video is from the 2001 Brass Eye Pedophile special, and it details the rap artist JLB-8:

Top 10 "Sweded" Films

First,

a link

Then, a picture, to sate your curiosity.

 

It is exactly what it looks like.

"Just Found A Red Sock in the Laundry (While Washing My Ku Klux Klan Sheet)", by Odedgross.  He also tells us that the problems in the world are Cause the Gays Are Getting Married.

And, who can pass up a mention of The Gays without something incredibly gay? 

There's some bad video at a few points, but the sound is good all the way through.

Kitty Wigs -- another site that is exactly like it sounds like. Wigs. For cats.

I actually found this site a few months ago (give or take) but totally forgot to post it. So here ya go!

Each Kitty Wig comes in an attractive round metal wig case with our fresh new logo on it. Your wig will arrive on a wig form and covered in a hair net to help keep its shape and luster.

The package also includes complete instructions for care, suggestions from professional photographers, and a mouse with rattle to help you direct Kitty's stunned gaze. Every kitty loves the promise of a new toy for model behavior.

You can choose from four fabulous colors: Pink Passion, Bashful Blonde, Silver Fox, and Electric Blue.

Check out these super-classy portraits from the '70s!

I want a collage of them above my fireplace.



Also awesomely bad: The Awful World of Glamour Portraits (for those of you who reside in Foreignia, witness the horror that is Glamour Shots).

I would pay at least $100 to see glamour shots of Tim dressed like this. Or this (so butch!)

Jim Norton is awesome.

 

Disclaimer: This is kind of stupid, but they can't all be comedy gold. It did make me laugh a bit; mostly the Jewwwwws! part.

Needs more mentions of Jew gold and a secret cabal that runs the media.

Class assigment: Movie Review!
Result:

A DV Listener sent this craigslist post in:

I am so tempted to loop this bad boy and add the Benny Hill theme song to it:

From The Bible, Genesis Chapter 1:

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem. 2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

Maybe you want it read to you?

In case you are unaware, Slamball is what a bunch of trampoline-addicted dipshits thought of doing when someone moved a basketball hoop near their backyard trampoline.  Roughly, it involved trampolines AND basketballs.  It's X-TREME.  X-TREME SLAMBALL, next up on FOX!  But first, we'll tell YOU how to protect YOUR FAMILY against sex offender vegetables and how your next visit to the produce aisle, COULD BE YOUR LAST.  Stay tuned!

Anyway, a gallery of slamball moments, from youtube.

The classic one, complete with slamball crybaby.  "Um.  Somebody get someone." (no one does)

Good.  Jump.  Touch the rim.  Jump, touch the rim.  Good.  Good.  Jump, touch, jump, touch, jump, be a retard.

The approach is flawless.  The form is perfection incarnate.  The jump is arching wonderfully.  The spin is done with a flair.. there's just.. something.. missing.

pwned.

About a minute and a half in (just after the intro theme), there's a special tie-in to a recent DV topic!

Hint: it's incest

Thanks to Cheryl Merkowski for this.

Check it out.  Seriously.  Look at that shit-eating grin.

Tucker Max tells us about the first time he did anal with a girl...

It happens, every time I have a need to read about 'tards, I go looking for the love that is the Tard Blog.

If you've not discovered or heard of this, from the description on the website:

This is a weblog written by a real life special education teacher. The original writer, Riti Sped, has retired from teaching and is now pursuing other interests. Her entire body of work is below, and if you are new here I suggest you start with Riti's first story.

Also, I would strongly suggest, after acquainting yourself with some of the more interesting tards (The Old New Kid, and Augusta, for example), reading the bit from the guest contributor.  This really is one of the few times I spit coke (that is, coca cola, I would never spit coke on my monitor, that shit is expensive)

Jimmy Dean sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast with the fried eggs and the T-bone steak.

Listen through to the end -- the funniest part is after he thinks he's hung up. FATTIES NEED THEIR GREASY MEAT LOGS, GAWD DAMMIT

A good burn is like good sex: it's simple, it's to the point, and it leaves your victims totally destroyed.

You thought the dirt-flavored stuff was bad?  Now you can enjoy a Christmas ham and wash it down with .. ham soda.  Oddly, it's kosher.

This is almost as bad as Marcy.  And Marcy needs to be stopped.  Also, you are not ready for this jelly.  Also, your new name is Harmonia and we have an electrified fence.  And speaking of weiners, Frankfurter Spectacular!

I was just listening to the show, as I was helpfully collecting links and thought, "Hey!  I bet that shit balloon thing memo is on The Smoking Gu..I see I am, yet again, slow."  So, to save you some time, and to make me feel like I did something today (Horray! I'm helping!) I've collected some wonderful content from TSG!

That New Drug Alert! There's shit. In a bottle. With a balloon on top of it. Gross. Speaking of gross, an old classic! Falafels being rubbed up against your producer's pussy! I mean loofa. And speaking of pussy, check out Klutzo the Clown, getting in on sweet, Filipino boy-pussy. Ahh, Christians.

So there was this sign, and like, this cheerleader and a very small percentage of injuries are caused by.. well, trampling. Speaking of stupid broads...

Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like a great, big, fat cow.

Also, I realize it's a little late for Halloween, but still, an Internet Classic.
Did you know if you go on youtube and search for "leave brittany alone" you'll find like the funniest video ever. It's like this totally gay guy all sobbing and crying and shit and he's all like AND SHE'S BEEN THROUGH A DIVORCE LEAVE HER ALONE.

London Bridges, Falling Up falling up, falling up...

And by "London Bridges" I mean "a near-dead."  And by "falling up" I mean "sadly evading death's cold, icy grip"

A classic.



Who else seen the leprechaun say yeah! YEAAAAAAAHHH!!

Click for a bigger version.

I think Maria's my favorite. Check out her rockin' red boots!

Their latest act was shown on last Sunday's Edinburgh and Beyond, however I think this is the superior of the two I have seen. They're a comedy trio, and in this video they mock the likes of Derren Brown and his Russian Roulette special:

This will put you in the halloween mood: An old article from The Onion entitled: Generic Candy Corn Will Give You AIDS: By By Patrick Carlin CEO, Brach's Confections.

Click It

P.S. Whenever There is a Best-Of Show, or a program that pops up REALLY late,  and I'm NOT sick... chances are I either got super drunk or got super laid. I gots my priorities

Okay, this is an oldie, but a goodie. Despite the fact that I hate Fall Out Boy with a passion, this is one of my favorite videos.

Keeping with Tim's misheard lyrics theme...