Thanks to Florida's law about nips, somebody had to do some Photoshop magic on a billboard of half-nude men who get paid to get sweaty, wear spandex, yell at each other, and roll around on the ground together.
I can only hope this leads to a law where guys at beaches and pools in Florida have to put little round Band-Aids on their nipples or they'll be fined. Hello Kitty Band-Aids are so hot.
Now for funny kittenz story time. When that song first came out (2001), I was convinced that the song repeated area codes. So I did the only logical thing: I listened to the song over and over and wrote down every single area code mentioned. And he doesn't repeat a one!
Now the full list is, of course, available on Wikipedia, because it's run by OCD nerds with Asperger's.
Bonus kittenz trivia: I have phone numbers in two of the area codes.
Sometimes TheShocker apologizes to me for the 1970s, which is good of him. After all, I grew up in the 1980s, and we all know how stylish and classy they were (it's the 80s! Do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan!).
I don't think I can link directly to the Uncle Dirty photo essay by Mike Belleme because it contains NSFW photos, but if you were to Google it, I'm sure you'd find it very quickly. And I highly recommend you do. Especially if you like extremely old men in thongs and retarded old women with cancer of the face.
Anyway, the important part of Easter isn't some crap about some dead Jew being nailed to a piece of wood and then coming back as a soul-sucking zombie that wants your love. No. It's about the Easter Bunny and Cadbury eggs and, of all things, peeps.
Everyone knows peeps! The marshmallowy sugar-coated treats you can buy by the dozen. They'll send you into a hyperglycemic fit and probably kill your diabetic grandma (you can always claim ignorance).
I'm from Portland. One of our claims to fame (aside from amazing beer) is more strip clubs, per capita, than any other U.S. city. To that end, I give you:
Yes, this could be yours for the low, low price of $600.
Gotta love Craigslist.
For Sale - beautiful pink "vagina couch" that I made in art school and no longer have space for. The couch is large: measures 5' 3" long, 3' 3" wide at the middle, and stands 2' 3" tall (and is heavy like a couch). The pics are from my portfolio and are several years old; as a result, the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved, but otherwise is in excellent shape. A professional upholsterer helped me build the couch, so it is also functional and durable as a piece of furniture. The couch must be picked up in Mendocino, a 3-hour drive north of SF. I am asking for $600 and a loving home! Call Willow at xxx-xxx-xxxx or reply to posting.
This is from a Christian activity book published in 1954, written to help "enhance Bible truth" for children. There are a ton more pages scanned from this book here.
Kitty Wigs -- another site that is exactly like it sounds like. Wigs. For cats.
I actually found this site a few months ago (give or take) but totally forgot to post it. So here ya go!
Each Kitty Wig comes in an attractive round metal wig case with our fresh new logo on it. Your wig will arrive on a wig form and covered in a hair net to help keep its shape and luster.
The package also includes complete instructions for care, suggestions from professional photographers, and a mouse with rattle to help you direct Kitty's stunned gaze. Every kitty loves the promise of a new toy for model behavior.
You can choose from four fabulous colors: Pink Passion, Bashful Blonde, Silver Fox, and Electric Blue.
Tired of prankster kids stealing baby Jesus from the family's outdoor nativity each year, Dina Cellini of Bal Harbour, Florida installed a GPS unit in the statue. Bolting it down didn't work, apparently.
"We may need to rely on technology to save our savior,'' said Cellini.
The GPS came in handy few days ago when they noticed that Jesus was missing from his nativity. The old GPS tracker was fired up, and they started walking. They didn't have to walk far though; the GPS unit lead them to a house across the street.
Deputies showed up at the door Thursday morning and hauled off the 18-year-old female culprit with a charge of grand theft. The statue is valued at $800, while the GPS system rings up at $400, and the girl is currently in jail with bail set at $3,000.
After some debate, the affliction has been identified as a particular form of Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), combined with an as-yet unidentified immune system deficiency. HPV is not uncommon, but the rare immune deficiency in Ioan—believed to be genetic—allows the virus to take over his skin cells, which results in the bizarre branch/root-like growths on his hands and feet (officially called 'cutaneous horns'). After Ioan's story broke, a few other cases of the condition popped up, particularly the case of Dede, a man in Indonesia. Still, doctors call the rare combination of elements that lead to conditions like Ioan's to be "less than one in a million."
Yay, now some Romanian dude looks marginally less disgusting. Rejoice.
Well... he's getting married... to a female of the human species. Who'da thunk it?!
"On Saturday Oct. 7, 2007, At our favorite club "The Castle", I proposed to my wonderful Princess Dorothy/Tink. With much emotion and excitement for both of us, well, the title says it all... She Said Yes!
Unfortunately, since this news was posted on a very popular gossip site and I'm assuming it got a ton of hits, his site is currently offline due to bandwidth issues. So if you want to learn more about him, just go visit his Myspace instead. Make sure to pick up his new album while you're there.
BONUS: What happens when the Gem Sweater lady (Leslie Hall) Peter Pan up there and a few other internet "celebrities" get together to sing and dance around to promote Net Neutrality? Just watch!
And in case you're Jewish, here's some tips on how to deal with ejaculation, periods, and having sex while she's on the rag. A tip: You're gonna need to start keeping birds.
From the people that brought you the Beerbelly... Introducing the WineRack!
Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash!
And when you're running on empty, just blow into the tube and fill those babies with your stanky drunk breath. All it needs now is a breathalizer attachment...
Well, I'm not saying that if you clicked here you would see his DICK AN' NUTZ... I'm just saying that if you were going to click there, you might not want to do so at work. Or with children in the room. Or if you have a serious aversion to gingham.
I actually had the chance to meet these two DV fans and they're really great people. Super nice, and apparently super horny. They love to get it on in public webcam chat rooms. What better way to spread the distortion than writing the URL above your completely shaven bacon hole? Perfection! Sorry I had to block out the good bits but should you surf on over to xtube one day, search for the user "sexin247"...you might just recognize him/her.
Here's an ad for Sensuous Photography that I found in a Columbus circular a few years back. Naturally, I scanned it in and saved it.
People, I realize Christmas shopping for your loved ones can be difficult, but odds are they don't want dirty pictures of pets. America: stop slutting up your animals! On the other hand, they've done research and came to the conclusion that this service offers "The Ultimate Sexy Gift", and who are we to question proven scientific fact? Go ahead, dress your Yorkiepoo in a crotchless thong. It'll make a hell of a Christmas card.
By Tim Henson on October 25, 2007 1:37 AM
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Goatse has been around for so long it's not only infiltrated Halloween, but also beloved video games. Spot the Goatse!
I'll end it right there. We've all known about goatse for about a decade now. These days it's all about 2girls1cup, which is already played out. But, for these pics and a gazillion other goatse variations, check out the Tribute to Goatse. It should go without saying, some of the pics are very NSFW. Unless you happen to be a video editor at a fisting porn studio.
