February 2005 Archives

Hey freaks! Hope you guys had a great weekend. I'd love to hear about it, but we don't have because we've got so much SHOW for you. It's bursting at the seams with vulgarity and oddities. Let the hilarity ensue!

On Today's Show:

- A Transvestite loses a bit of his baggage

- A man makes sweet love to a cow and now all of a sudden he's the bad guy

- A Distorted View Entertainment Report!

Enjoy the show and we'll see you back tomorrow! Click on our google ad's! They're all good! Good products, Good service...and umm.. just click on the f'ing links

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 02/28/05

We made it through another week together! I've saved some of the best (read: craziest) news stories for last!

On Today's Show:

- First came the monk who superglued his eyes. Now comes the man who superglued a condom to his penis

- Blind men kicking the crap out of defenseless animals

- A bizarre tale involving sperm, a mouth, and a baby boy

Enjoy the show, have a great weekend, and we'll see you back on Monday to start a whole new week of DV!

-Tim

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 02/25/05

Hey freaks! It's another crazy podcast full of strange, weird, disgusting, wonderful stuff!

On Today's Show:

- What are pineapple breasts?

- Gluing your eyes shut, and why not to do it.

- Something smells like shit in Nebraska

Enjoy the show and we'll be back for the big Friday show!
-Tim

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 2/24/05

Hey Freaks!

It was a slow news day, but I think I found a few good ones for you. Now give Timmy a kiss. If you run across any funny news stories, feel free to E-mail them to me!

On Today's Show:

- Vomit slurping

- When dogs eat better than you do

- Put down that vibrator, and spread 'em!

Enjoy!
-Tim

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 02/23/05

Hey freaks!

It's an educational program today as Distorted View teaches you a few lessons you'd never hear in school. Sit back, take notes, and let the learning begin.

On Today's Show:

- We learn that Koko the Gorilla is a tit man

- We learn why not to have breakup sex (your penis will thank me, later)

- We learn why not to steal a car in the nude

Enjoy the program and we'll be back tomorrow!

-Tim

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 02/22/05

Hey freaks! I'm back to start a whole new week of Distorted View! Hope you feel rested and refreshed from the weekend, because today's show is a doozy:

OIn Today's Show:

- What happens when nudists go out for a fancy night on the town? and without a pocket to hold their wallet, how will they ever pay for the extravagant night?

- Cockroaches: Culinary treat? One Indian man can't get enough of them, and he's breaking a record to prove it.

- God created Adam & Eve, not two flamingly queer penguins. Or did He?

Enjoy the program and we'll see you tomorrow!

-tim

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily 2/21/05

Hey freaks! We made it to the end of another week! Enjoy the show, and we'll see you back on Monday!

On Today's Show:

- Strangling Your Own Penis!

- Stinky Children Get The Spray-Down

- Drugged Food and Penis Potion

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily 2/18/05

Hey freaks! Thanks to everyone who has offered to help with podcast hosting. It's the stangest thing, but when I went to upload todays show into the system, all of the podcasts were there. the DV videos weren't, but the podcasts were. So we'll see what happens here.

On Today's Show:

- An Elderly-Style Smackdown

- Watch out! Old people may be plotting to sink their dentures into your skin

- Penis enlargement pills and idiots who try them

It's good to be back! :-)

Listen Now: Distorted View Daily: 2/17/05

Ugh,

If you havent heard, my hosting provider didn't like me having tons of videos and podcasting mp3's on their server gobbling up bandwidth. So, we're in a real pickle.

As of right now you will not be able to listen to past shows.

I'm hoping someone generous will come forward and host our mp3/video files. If you have the ability to host it, I have no problem whoring myself out via free advertising or sex...whatever.

So we're going to be playing Best-Of shows until we get it resolved. Who knows when my porivder will delete shit.

Enjoy today's Best-Of Show! It's from 3 years ago (February 15, 2002)

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily 2/16/05

I guess my ISP has had enough of the massive video and mp3 files, as I discovered all of the podcast mp3's have been deleted off the system. I uploaded the most recent podcast again. Sorry no show today, but I'm just trying to figure out our next move :)

This is a call to anyone who might be able to donate bandwidth and space for Distorted View podcast and video files.

I'll talk about this on tomorow's show.

-t

Happy Valentine's Day! We've got a great show for you today, including a special V-day message you can send to your loved one.

On Today's Show:

-A drunk, child abusing drug addict is crowned Distorted View's Mother of the Week (and it's only Monday)

-Male Hollywood star + fake penis = comedy platinum

-The gay penguins are back!

Enjoy the show!

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 2/14/05

It's the big Friday show! Ok, it's not much different from the other shows during the week. At any rate, enjoy the program! Don't forget to E-mail me with your comments, questions, news of the weird, etc. If I read your mail on the show, you'll be entered into the Great DV Extreme Makeover giveaway!*

On Today's Show:

- Frozen Chickens In Flight!

- Hey! Where did that dudes testicle go?

- The Return of ass-squirt lady! Plus all the details to make your own inexpensive enema!

It's all happening today on DV! Have a great weekend, freaks!

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 02/11/05

* Giveaway includes African Pride Hair Relaxer, 5% off your next Standard Lady Brand Synthetic Hair Wig, and a one-year subscription to Botox Fancy magazine.

Hey freaks!

On Today's Show:

- Trying to make gay penguins go straight

- Scalping children in the name of feminism!

- A stupid story about a stupid dead turkey.

Enjoy the program and we'll see you back here tomorrow for the big Friday show!

*hugs and kisses xoxoxo BFF 4ever*
-tim

Listen Now! Distorted View: 2/10/05

Hey everybody! Back here with a truly twisted episode of Distorted View! Enjoy the show, and don't forget to E-mail me if you find a funny news story!

On Today's Show:

-An animated frog penis

-Cutting your testicles to make good on a promise

-Electric Toothbrush Rectum Love <-- this is also going to be the name of my heavy metal band

-The return of the penis pumping judge!

See you back tomorrow!

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 2/09/05

Hey my twisted little freaks! We're back with an all-new episode of Distorted View Daily for you to feast upon! Before that, here's a little bit of sad news. I had to disable the "comment" function because spammers have found a way to flood the system with Texas Hold-Em Poker and Viagra ads. So, if you want to contact me, be sure to use the E-mail link.

On Today's Show:

-Chucking McDonalds food at incompetent employees

-Deceased old lady is sued for swapping tunes online, being dead.

-Even gay militant rebels can find love...at the rainbow connection.

Enjoy the show and we'll be back tomorrow!

Listen Now! Distorted View Daily: 02/08/05

Hey freaks,

I'm extending my weekend and taking today off. I'm a lazy bastard, I know. Today we've got a great Best-Of Show, though. While I've done Distorted View Daily in various formats for several years, I just started this podcasting thing back in Decemember. Not many people heard the our first show, so that's what we're playing today. Enjoy!

On Today's Show:

-The Best Of Distorted View

-Originally Aired: 12/09/04

Listen Now! Distorted View: 2/7/05

It's Friday and I've got one more dose of Distorted View for you before we call it a week! Remember: Distorted View is for adults only. We use mature language in a totally immature way.

On Today's Show:

- A Deadly Enema!

- An orgasm machine!!

- A Teeny Tiny Condom!!!

It's an exlamation mark-worthy episode of Distorted View!* Enjoy and we'll see you back on Monday!

-tim

Listen Now: Distorted View Daily 2/04/05

* Please use punctuations responsibly.

It's Thursday and we have another jammed-packed episode full of freaks and weirdos! If you enjoy the show, don't forget to add a link to us on your website. It would be much appreciated.

On Today's Show:

- Two crazy Asian's for the price of one!

- A mobile crystal meth lab!

- Why Jesus is a fan of the Frydaddy

All of these cryptic headlines are deciphered for you into chewable morsels on today's episode of DV!

Listen Now: Distorted View Daily: 2/03/05

Back here with your hump day edition of Distorted View Daily! By the way, did you know today is National Hug A Pedophile day? It's true. Children are encouraged to hug a convicted sex offender to help promote tolerance and understanding of the mental illness.

On Today's Show:

-Why no one cares if they blow the head off of Iraq's newest American hostage

-Finding random amputated body parts while mourning for the dearly departed. Get it? Departed? Amputated? Bahaha -Catch me at Smirk's Comedy Shanty all next week.

-The return of crazy pacemaker guy!

Enjoy the show and see you back tomorrow!
-tim

Listen Now: Distorted View Daily: 2/02/05

It's time for another episode of the podcast that Chinchilla Fancy magazine calls, "An utter disappointment". Who the hell wants a fucking disgusting chinchilla anyways?

On Today's Show:

-Don't get mad, get even...by chewing off a finger. Because if you chew off a finger, you'd have 4 fingers left. And that's an even number. See? Even.

-Cutting your dead mother's chest open to rip out a pacemaker. Why? Tune in to today's show to find out!

-Making the case for prostitution as a valid career option. Plus, information on how you can enroll into the Queefton School of Whorinary Arts!

Enjoy!
-tim

Listen Now: Distorted View Daily: 2/01/05