May 2005 Archives
Hey Freaks!
Hope you all had a great Memorial day! If you haven't listened to our 1-Hour Special I posted over the weekend, don't forget to download it when you want an extra dose of DV :)
On Today's Show:
- The polite way to ask a guest to leave? Torching your house, naturally.
- We salute DV's Mother of The Week for giving her underage child the gift that keeps on giving: dirty, stinky, strippers!
- The Masturbate-A-Thon!
All of this plus a brand new Sextastic Tuesday! RAWK!
Link:
The PK&J Show: Lick It & Click It
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/31/05
Hey Freaks!
Here it is: the hour-long special in celebration of Distorted View's 100th episode!
Thanks for making the show a blast to do! I look forward to the next 100 shows and beyond!
Note: Again, there will be NO show on Monday. We'll be back on Tuesday with a brand new show, though.
Hey Freaks!
Enjoy the Friday show, and don't forget to check back this weekend for our special one hour program in celebration of us hitting the 100th episode mark.
On today's show:
- First came my hatred of the elderly, now I focus my rage on public school teachers
- Darth Vader is a sex freak!
- Banana-Dick!
A huge thanks goes out to my buddy-slash-announcer Scott Fletcher. Scott was a guest on the David Lawrence show and managed to get in a nice plug for Distorted View! Thanks, Scott!
Links:
Soctt Fletcher's Podcast: Podcheck
Sledge's Podcast: K.N.I.G.H.T.S
The David Lawrence Show
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/27/05
Hey Freaks!
What a show today! If you are easily offended, fast forward through the first few minutes. A big thanks to my best friend Joe for helping out with the commercial bit.
On today's show:
- The return of Dr. Jizzum!
- Elephant feces
- A unique way to kill midgets
Listen to the pocast: Distorted View Daily: 05/26/05
Hey Freaks!
I'm back with more crazy news for you! Enjoy the program and don't forget to E-mail me with your comments, news of the weird, or as in today's case, doomsday prophecies.
On Today's Show:
- Hardcore Plush Bears
- Eating Corpses
- An elderly woman does something stupid. What a shocker.
Links:
Podcast Superstar: Hate The Radio!
Podcast Gigastars: The PK&J Show
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to today's podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/25/05
Hey Freaks!
It's officially our 100th show! Very exciting, right? I celebrate this milestone by reading strange news stories...which I do every other goddamn day. Plus: a brand new Sextastic Tuesday featuring mythical creatures and a vagina.
On Today's Show:
- Pissing on literature! That's right...take that books!
- Tossing kittens out of fast moving cars
- Crystal dildo's and champagne dreams
Links:
Tips From The Top Floor
Wonder Showzen
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to today's podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/24/05
Hey Freaks!
I'm back to start a whole new week of distorted views with you! In addition to the crazy news stories, you'll hear all about my nipples, my balls, and why to stay away from Nair. You'll also hear me ramble on and on about you doing my dirty work by promoting the show for me.
I'm a lazy little fucker.
On Today's Show:
- Stinky kitty cat carcasses
- Being pistol-whipped by complete dumbasses
- Another penis has been chopped off!
Links:
Distorted View's Street Team Action Squad
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/23/05
Hey Freaks!
It's Friday, which means we've got to end the week. I know, I know, it's sad. Fear not because we've got an awesome show for you to tide you over until Monday. In addition to the news of the weird, Satan stops by and a we've got a special voicemail from my Hollywood Agent! Have a great weekend and join me back here on Monday to start a whole new week of distortion!
On Today's Show:
- Wearing your mother. That's right: wearing
- Killing your spouse - Now accepting Visa, Mastercard, and Diner's Club.
- The dangers of masturbating in public
Links:
Scott Fletcher: Podcheck
PK&J Show: Uber-Podcasters
Adam Curry: Sirius Podshow
Story Porn: Literotica
Star Wars List: 99 Actual Lines That Could Be Used In a Porno
Short Film: Night Owls - Ladies In Danger
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/20/05
Hey Freaks!
Wow! Tons of crazy shit on today's show! We even try a brand new feature on today's podcast but you'll just have to hear it for yourself.
On Today's Show:
- Slicing off dicks!
- Watching porn at church
- Sex Slave/Webmaster
Links:
The PK&J Show: Come for a fantastic podcast, stay for the Who's The Boss fan fiction
Soccer Girl: She's got titties
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/19/05
Hey Freaks!
Today I've got a big show for you with some crazy news stories, voicemail mesages, and yet another installment of me singing. (very poorly) How could you not want to download the shit out of this podcast!?
On Today's Show:
- An eledrly man who screwed his pooch
- Soiled panties!!!
- Double Vaginal Double Anal 101
Links:
Steve Dupont's Podcast: Obtuse Angle
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/18/05
Hey Freaks!
It's Tuesday and you know what that means! Sextastic Tuesday! My porno story stash is running dry, so we do something a little different today. Tune in for the magic!
On Today's Show:
- Getting your ass kicked by a dead person
- Testicles "hanging by a thread"
- Hold the maggots, thank you.
Links:
Scott Fletcher's Brand New Podcast: PodCheck
Adam Curry's Sirius Show: Pod Show
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/17/05
Hey Freaks!
Hope you guys had a great weekend! I'm so glad to be back to start a whole new week with you. Remember, if you want to participate in the program, just E-mail me, or leave us a voicemail.
On Today's Show:
- Kindergarten Sex Romp
- Getting a baby sloppy drunk
- Skinning a child = UNLIMITED EARNING POTENTIAL!
Links From Today's Show: Tim's Wikipedia Article
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/16/05
Hey Freaks!
We made it to the end of another week! We've got a fantastic show for you today, full of crazy stories, great feedback from listeners, and a moving tribute to a couple of fallen hero's. That's right, we've lost a couple members of the DV family, and you dont want to miss my eulogy.
On Today's Show:
- The talking penis has been silenced
- Driving a horse under the influence
- It's the return of the tiger-cub breastfeeding lady!
Enjoy the show and we'll be back on Monday to start a whole new week!
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/13/05
Hey Freaks,
Displaying once again how stupid I really am, I accidently refer to today's show as "Thursday, May 11, 2005". Despite me being a complete fuck tard, rest assured that today's program is brand new!
On Today's Show:
- The Whizzinator!
- News Flash: Michael Jackson's chimp can use a toilet.
- Ice cream man VS a child: The Thrilla over the cost of Vanilla
Enjoy the show!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/12/05
Hey Freaks!
I'm back with a fantastic new show for you! Great fucked up stories, plus me talking about poop! What more could you ask for?
On Today's Show:
- Walking, talking human poop! I smell a sitcom!
- Killing your loved one in 30 minutes or less (Delivery charges may apply)
- Severed goat heads!
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Podcast Alley: Vote!
Listen to the Podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/11/05
Hey Freaks,
Sorry, but no show today. Instead, enjoy a classique episode. I'll be back tomorrow with brand new fucked up stories for you.
On Today's Best-Of Show:
- Anal Enemas!
- Chewing Balls!
- Flying Frozen Chickens!
Listen to Today's Podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/10/05
Hey Freak Deakies!
I'm back with a whole new week of Distorted View's for you! I'm super tired, so here's what's up.
On Today's Show:
- Giving Penguins STD's
- Three injured in local blowjob mishap
- Unpopular sex acts
Listen to today's podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/09/05
Hey Freaks!
Enjoy the Friday show, and we'll be back on Monday to start a whole new week!
On Today's Show:
- Enroll now to Whore College! Where prostitutes become PRO-stitutes
- After rubbing man-junk into you're skin, why not drink cow piss for your health?
- Honey, where did your balls go?
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/06/05
Hey Freaks!
In addition to the crazy news stories today, I crown one moron Distortd View's Mother of the Week, and I plead for men to join me in a totally 100% bonafide scientific semen experiment. Don't you judge me.
On Today's Show:
- Blowing your wad in the name of softer skin
- Blinding babies at everyday low prices
- Put that eye back into your socket: it's the return of the Bangladeshi Woman!
If you haven't voted for DV this month at Podcast Alley, please help out the show and do it now!
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Enjoy the show!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/05/05
Hey Freaks,
One word to describe today's show: "yikes". It'a not pretty, but if you'd like to punish yourself, tune in to the show. It was a slow news day. Ummm.. so that's all I have to say about that.
On Today's Show:
- Potty training your cat
- High tech hugs
- Britney's EPT is up for sale
Plus, television theme songs from the late 80's / early 90's to make this show completely un-listenable.
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/04/05
Hey Freaks!
On today's show: Sextastic Tuesday! I have to warn you about this one, though. We've taken the bit to new levels of inappropriate-ness.
On Today's Show:
- Frosty Cold Penises
- Trading pot for pizza
- Buying custard may get you fingered
Vote for DV at Podcast Alley. For every vote I get, I'll adopt one Cambodian baby. You want Cambodian orphans to have a good home, don't you? Don't be a heartless bastard/bitch. Just vote.
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/03/05
Hey Freaks!
Yes, it's Monday and that kind of sucks, but fear not! I'm here to help you get through the week with some news of the weird!
Today, before we start the program I talk about my weekend dinner with Paul and Jeanette of The PK&J Show. If you haven't checked out their show, do it now! Good stuff, I promise!
On Today's Show:
- Why pay for sex when a juicy T-bone would do?
- The Girl Scouts are coming after dead beat cookie eaters
- Weapons of mass digestion
Also, check out our new online feature: Sextastic Tuesday - The Web Game! You can help write a disgusting, twisted erotic story, just like the ones featured every Tuesday right here on DV.
Finally, it's a new month which means you can all vote for DV again at Podcast Alley. Help out the show by clicking here and voting.
Voicemail: 206-666-4463
Email: show@distortedview.com
Enjoy the show!
Listen to the podcast: Distorted View Daily: 05/02/05
