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Welcome To Distorted View’s Crude Summer!

Each week we will take a dip into DV’s pool of disgusting, poorly written, and just weird erotic fan fiction/ sex stories that have been featured over the past 15 years of the podcast. I originally read these stories to you during a segment called Sextastic Tuesday, which aired just about every week (on Tuesday’s, naturally) and creeped out a generation of freaks. Every weekend this summer we will relive some of these abominations.

This week: Beloved cartoon Inspector Gadget gets the bad erotic fanfic treatment. English was not the first language for this author, it seems. Still, he manages to pack this story with exciting cameos. Batman and Superman stop by to get some Inspector Gadget loving. Even Robocop can’t resist getting in on the action.

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Hastily AI’ed Transcription Of Today’s Show:

Coming up on this week screwed summer Inspector Gadget erotic fanfiction Now for those of you who don’t remember the cartoon, it involves a bionic private investigator is preteen nice and a job. If that doesn’t sound problematic enough, we’re going to go ahead and just throw in Superman and Batman into the mix and how Let’s invite Robocop to the orgy to we’ll get into the story in just a second. Distorted views crude summer is brought to you by Adam and eve.com, purveyors of fine handcrafted artisanal objects to Graham and various Buchholz since 1970. Okay, I don’t think they’re handcrafted but because artists no has no legal definition. The sex toys are totally our typical. the widest selection of dildos vibrators and butt plugs have made Adam and Eve the number one adult toy superstore. But there’s so much more than that. 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Just remember to use coupon code freak FREAK at Adamandeve.com Today I’ve got a piece of fanfiction for you if you’re a child of the 80s maybe even the 90s you can appreciate this ladies and gentlemen I give you Inspector Gadget What do you think’s going to happen here? I haven’t read this story yet I want to share it with you I want to enjoy it but I have a feeling there’s gonna be Go Go gadget sex toy involves go get your penis also feel bad for Penny fucking brain Inspector Gadget dubstep This first line is troubling. Inspector Gadget is visiting Metropolis with Penny and brain. So this might be a crossover between like Superman and Inspector Gadget there might be some gay superhero shit going on. The CERN lab scientists are showing the new discoveries of the large he’s melted Haiti on collapse and the possible creation of a black hole of miniscule dimensions. gadget Penny and brain are at the main hall of the metropolis Expo Center gang says to Penny Wowsers, this Metro Police expert Hall is ginormous pennies. It’s Metropolis uncle Metropolis be where Penny you can catch Metro poliomyelitis. What the fuck is going on? Penny looks down in size. I think we’re all signing right now. Oh god what are we in for all right Penny looks down at size unlucky she was a snot from her nose falls onto the ground but no one sees okay if it’s not falls from your nose and no one sees did it really ever fall in something I don’t know. Think about that for a second all right let’s get to the good stuff here. After a while looking at the gadgets exposed to the convention a call is made to the inspector its chief Quimby Benny says gadget looks like Inspector Gadget is always on duty. I think he meant the cheat I don’t know what the hell is going on here wait here and be a good girl and gadget to go where chief is a trash can outside the expo set Penny I think what he’s saying is gadget want to take the call well i don’t know i don’t know why to why I don’t know whatever it is make your gadgets at Jim Quimby take a look at your mission. Inspector Gadget gadget reads Dr. Claus planning on using the LMLHC to generate a black hole and suck all the money from Metropolis National Bank you must prevent him and arrest him to this Miss message will self explode gadget rubs his prosthetic chin and says to the chief Quimby in the trash can i cheap This mission is a mission for Inspector Gadget and gadget throws the paper on the trash can work Quimby was the paper explodes and jerk off and I from chief Quimby that’s an odd way of saying you know, he blew an eye out of Chief Coinbase face or something. I guess there’s no good way of saying that. Did you hear that brain as Penny? I fucking Penny is a little nosy comment. Alright, she’s always you know, sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. Did you hear that brain ask Penny we must stop uncle gadget. Where could the LHC possibly be? And Penny thanks a bit. Oh, it’s obvious if the chief Quimby is here. The Expo is here and the scientists are here the LHC is here to brain new agreement and ODS and they proceed to enter the Expo Center brain follow uncle gadget I’ll stay here with my computer notebook waiting something bad to happen. Waiting for something bad to happen all right brain disguises himself with a scientist lab coat and paranormal glasses and crafts behind gadget gadget starts to move searching for clues just then gadget notice brain what a mad agent You bastard You are under arrest Go Go gadget dildo Well, that didn’t take very long did it and a giant phallic dildo gets out of his hat and proceeds towards brightens ass and penetrates it. incapacitating the poor dogs but now you mad Kruk Tell me where the La HC and Dr. Clark little gadget can’t see is the Mad agents taking away the giant LH say that has this guy ever seen pictures? of the the real one is like miles long. Whatever. Those bastards how Cannot you respect Inspector Gadget the best police man of the district while gadget interrogates brain with his vicious anal violation methods Dr. Claus at his HQ and Metropolis a high tall skyscraper near Daily Bugle where works Luna slain maybe lowest with his monitor that monitors all the city he now sees the mighty particle accelerator getting transported to his HQ My dear agents are bringing here the famous accelerate hair now I can steal the metropolis bank. And what’s this? They’re bringing a visitor to and Dr claw rubs his Mad Catz pussy head well guess who gets kidnapped by Matt agent? That’s right Penny will get you Dr. Clark. You can’t escape. Oh, on the contrary dear Penny and by the way, the way he spoke contrary is epic. CO and TRAYR sure that’s like how it sounds All right, on the contrary, dear Penny You can’t escape me and now I can do everything I want to do. Pennies legs start to shake and despair oh she knows what’s coming. Yeah look up right but that little computer notebook of yours. She now fear for her and touch seminal under age body. What can the devilishly mad licious? Dr. Claude do to her locker locker sell a mat agents bring her the LHC bring here the LHC probably now Matt agents pull down the panties of Miss penny. Let me see that beautiful uterus of hers. And the two Matt agents try to pull down her pants. But Penny fights back You can’t. Mad agents. Dr. Klaus shouts still watching through the monitor. Do it now. She is fucked and release Meanwhile, Superman and Inspector Gadget are working together. They find penny on the streets. Inspector gadgets nice. What happened? Superman talking from there on the street Penny very frightened. shouts to Superman. Whoa, Superman. It’s a disaster. Dr. Claude injected inside my uterus a mini black hole from the LHC it told me to go to the metropolis bank. So this way the black hole would suck the money in in my pussy. Oh, and Dr. Cloud would get it. Superman got shocked. What’s he gonna do? He don’t understands hard sciences. He only this is a disaster of a story. Healing knows how to fly. Superman shouts to penny. Penny be right there and I’ll be back in a moment. Okay, and Superman flies away. He decides to seek help and goes to Gotham City. Their Batman can help him. Sure enough, Batman has been studying the situation. There’s only two ways to save penny from this terrible disaster. One you throw her into the fan phantasms zone. Okay, no, that’s out of the question. Big Superman. And to Batman says you must fuck her. Sure, of course. Well, I shall catch it in Superman. Yes, that’s right. Superman. You probably don’t know this, after 8000 issues of your comic book, but you have more secret powers in your body than you imagine. See, I have a sample of your semen here in my lab. How did you get that? All right. Why do you have my semen? One night? I entered your apartment while you’re sleeping. I jerked you off. You just you know, it’s like you like it. All right, it’s very simple. I have collected every kind of bodily fluid from your body. And in an eventual eventuality is case. So continuing, I put your semen in a can and around it a rotating wheel made with kryptonite at the right speed. The field produced by the kryptonite transforms your semen into anti matter bombs. If it goes into contact with the matter, it explodes. Hey, says Superman very happy. Now we can save Penny just put this rotating thing in a cannon that spits come and we’ll shoot inside her current. Batman however, nods and disagreement. It isn’t that simple. Superman. You see, the semen only stays in anti-matter forum for only a couple of nanoseconds. No cannon have this response time or speed. But your penis does it can launch come at Yoda psychotic. Second, I don’t know what that is yada psychotic speeds. So you’re saying I must raise a penny to save Metropolis? Exactly. Well, a plan has been hatched. So to make a long story short, I’ve got a skip around here. They put a spinning ring of kryptonite around Superman’s dick even though Superman says kryptonite makes me weak. Be strong Superman Penny is on your hand. What that means. All right and boldly and like a mad airplane. Superman goes to where Penny was penny. I fear I must break your virginity to save your city. I mean, it’s kind of already been broken. They shoved a fucking particle accelerator in her uterus, right. All right, Penny look Superman seeing hope. Don’t be afraid Superman. The black hole already sucked in my hymen. Oh, there you go. By the way, besides, you know how great would that be? Well, I don’t know if that would be good or not losing your virginity to Superman. He could you know fuck you into space with a couple of thrust right? on the on the flip side. He is the man of steel. He’s already everything. Come on. Alright, so Superman moves his penis to penetrate Penny’s vagina but there’s something wrong. Oh no, Superman’s penis is flaccid like an elf deck. What’s he gonna do? Penny sees what happened and immediately opens her computer notebook. Web MD this or try to like order Viagra from Mexico or something. There she tries to find a solution. Superman says Penny you are weak because of the kryptonite. No fucking shit penny. I think I found the solution to make your dicks solid and hard as a rock. Just go to Adam and Eve coupon code freakin checkout for 50% off just about any item. Get some fun flicks. That’ll help. All right. I found some strange readings. When you were talking with Batman up there on the rooftop and my notebook computer X ray vision could see through your pants. Looks like your dick was throbbing. So what’s the solution? Superman? I think you know what the solution is? Yes, it Superman lowers his head. Batman. Superman. Superman today in this story. Superman with his powerful Sonic voice calls Batman to go down there. Batman asks, What’s up soups? That’s it up. That’s Batman’s nickname for Superman soups. What’s up soups? Batman, I think we cannot hide any longer what we feel for each other. This is the only way you are raping not only the mind of a little girl but also her body. Penny has to see all this go down. Alright Batman slowly closes his eyes unzipped his pants and says I understand Clark. Oh, that man’s deck is very hard and throbbing is how first Batman grope Superman’s but to see if there’s any danger. Superman don’t constrict your buttocks of my Man of Steel dick. You can cut it off. Whatever. Don’t be afraid Batman. I’m weak and defenseless. And then Batman introduces Batman member inside Superman’s hidebound ass Batman like go on and voluntary Mon and get very ashamed he let that happen. But Superman liked his kryptonite cover dig goes immediately hard. He then introduces it inside Penny’s vagina. She moans too. So he thought he suck his dick and Superman’s ass. And I’m sorry, but Batman Superman. fucked Batman’s ass, right? No, Batman. Superman. Oh, Jesus Christ. I’m not following what’s going on here. I understand. All right, so fucking Superman gets him hard. So then super it’s like a train Batman fucking Superman Superman fucking penny. Right. He introduces it inside Petty’s vagina she moans to Penny goes totally wet, but unlucky. She was the black hole sucks the lubricating fluids. Holy shit, she needs it, or else Superman’s penis is going to utterly destroy her infant cons. But as the Royal loyal dog brain is God, he sees a problem and immediately runs to run towards her. He then properly barks but he says what is it brain you want to help me? I knew brain was going to get involved. Brain nods. While being fucked by Superman. She puts her hands on her Libya Majora and stretches it to accommodate the now licking dogs Tom brain is not in the better position in the world because he must like Superman stick to and that’s gross for a dog to do. So Batman, well, penetrating inside Superman’s but can’t help but feel a bit dirty. He remembers the day when he shared intimacy moments with the fellow Robocop man. Oh, no, Robocop is gonna get involved. The star is all over the place. All right. Regardless, Superman knows that sex with a man is not properly cheating. And Lois Lane would understand it you say? But what annoys and worries him is Penny Yeah, a little girl would turn Lois Lane very jealous. She must not know but Sue can trust the blonde girl she’s mature enough to not put her spoon inside the other selves relationship. I’ve never heard that term before. Hey, don’t put your spoon inside someone other selves relationship. And brain is only a dog no condemning words go out of his barking throat. So Superman rocking hard dick is getting full of blood Okay, and ready itself to ejaculate inside Penny Hi this sort of figure out what he’s saying here. I think he’s saying his penis is full of blood is diggans rock hard. He’s getting ready to blow inside Penny small con but soups needs an incentive. While brain is licking his dick is pleasurable enough only the man back can make him come but who could make Batman just inside Superman steel rectum the guilty inside his bones are turning his dick placid know if Batman don’t come now Superman can’t come to and the black hole will consume Metropolis whole and even the world but like a fresh flee of hope Inspector Gadget is here to help is he gonna do no one wants to fuck Inspector Gadget. Yes, he has a lust radar inside of his potty. I’ve never once heard Go Go gadget lust radar. On that damn cartoon. You could sense men sexual urges there from the roof one mile away from the orgy to kill the black hole. Inspector Gadget unravels his bionic deck from his crotch and proceeds it towards Batman’s ass and specter gadgets dick is metallic, an eight inch rod of pure carnal electricity and without Batman knowing it, the electric penis rod gets inserted into Batman’s nested as Oh, I think Batman would know that something is entering his whole the memories from that night with Robocop are immediately recovered. Oh, that’s right. I forgot Batman was fucked by Robocop. It’s going to spark some memories. The penises are going to be very similar but metallic. Oh, this is a great story. Here we go. The Batman’s dick grows inside huge proportions. gadget dick is similar to his bat grenade, and gadget fun. Similarly like Robo. Now Batman is complete with Robocop and his butt and Superman on a stick. Batman comes a glorious, juicy full dream. Start referring to what I come it’s a beautiful dream. nightmare. All right. Yes, he comes up glorious just simple dream inside his long term friend not feeling hungry or a shame because he knows deep in his heart. Robocop would approve of the Act. Superman’s dick throbbing immensely with that jolt of pure egg white passioninside his bowels and now he’s spurts volcanic come tactic lava of anti matter inside pennies black hole dwelled vagina. Penny goes all red with the pleasure contaminating her juvenile body to be bloom sexuality. Whatever. Yes, that girl experience for the first time in her life the true love between two men inside of her in her dogs caress that till that moment was hidden under a coat of fear and loathing. Brain comes to Oh even the dog is coming. Brian comes to and the semen of his body. covers the ground is jewel liquor of lust. Wow. That’s a new one with whatever. He also refers to it as sultry poultry. What that means, with all the anti-matter calm going over the black hole it vanishes to be no more than a vague memento of a perfect day from the man covered in bats. The cape clad super boy the unbranded delicious girl be sucked in itself bird dog and the bionic cop man. Every one of them falls on the ground and appreciates the moment and laughs at another failed plot Dr. claw Dr. Claus HQE curses gadget next time gadget next time you will see and then Dr. Clark falls on the ground very happy because he was jerking up to that powerful love scene he saw his monitor yes, even evil Mad Men need the pleasure only the tender loving body can offer to the IB and there you go. That’s your Inspector Gadget meets Superman meets Batman meets Robocop porn. I hope you guys all shot a beautiful juice full load is that the phrase are obviously non English speaking author us there. I think it was beautiful juice full load. Thank you guys so much for joining me this weekend on group summer. If you have a favorite powerful sex story we featured here on distorted view daily over the years that you would like to hear on an upcoming group summer just email me show at the sort of you calm voicemail on Friday at 206-666-4463. I’ll be back on Monday to start a new week of distorted view episodes and of course I’ll be back next weekend with another group summer. Until then, have a great day. Just a reminder, today’s episode of crude summer was brought to you by Adam and Eve calm use promo code freak FREAK at checkout for 50% off just about any item and 10 free gifts including free shipping and amazing deal. Just remember to use coupon code free at Adam and Eve calm Transcribed by https://otter.ai  

Music from https://filmmusic.io

“Lobby Time” by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)

License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)