A password will be e-mailed to you.

A new way to help support Tim / Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page

Teddy Ruxpin 2017 Is Creepy: WATCH

My Sister’s Gift:

VOICEMAIL LINE FOR YOU NOW AND FOREVER: 206-66-OH-GOD

And More!

Sign Up For The Sideshow

Super Rough Transcript:

Untitled 1

[00:00:00] Wake up. Everyone. It’s Christmas. Coolest most is the greatest time of yeah, but you and Jordan’s most relieved to get up. It only comes right once again. There is snow outside me something vehicle through the window, and then you will just coming down the Kimberley. [00:01:00] Fortune. Presence underneath the tree and everybody knows.

It’s Christmas. It’s Christmas. It’s Christmas. He breaks it Sunday December 17th 2017 coming up on the program today fucking our founding fathers patriotic porn + old. Valle can’t put on socks eating your dead mommy’s ashes and horse dildo aftermath all coming up today on me. It’s the distorted view show with Tim Henson.

You know the taste of semen is quite a flavor Dimension back here with you as promised for a weekend show got a good one for you today. I started my Christmas shopping this weekend. I may have waited too long this year, I got. [00:02:00] K you heard me last year boasting about how all my presents were huge hits and the rest of my family look like out of touch assholes chunks with their generic Gifts of sweaters and board games that only old people play, but seven-year-old wouldn’t be ecstatic to receive, Parcheesi.

Meanwhile I’m fucking over. You know these digital cameras in Hatcher moles money’s No Object. It’s Christmas. It’s the spirit of giving and more importantly being named The Best Gift Giver the competition. I take very seriously unfortunately. Like Icarus who flew too high I thought I could do no wrong so I kept putting off these shopping trips and finally I this weekend.

I looked at the messages that my sister sent me regarding what these uh little. children wanted for [00:03:00] Christmas. It’s beyond like stuff. I’ve never heard of if it was just so never heard of I just Google it figure out what it is. Go to the store and buy it, but what they’re asking for is not sold anywhere except for like one place like my sister for instance.

I got her dumb name on the gift exchange that my family does and she wanted a Harry Styles Kadoka. She’s a pedophile. She still with him right. She he’s like 20 children my sisters like I don’t know 80 or something so she she wants a Harry style t-shirt or hoodie or something, but you can only get it from an Etsy shop in the Etsy Shop turnaround time is like five weeks, and I should make today’s featured image this Harry Potter sure.

It’s some mspaint CafePress old looking garbage. It’s got [00:04:00] it. Just like full random shit. I don’t know. I don’t know what Harry Styles is all about. I don’t know if his like logo is a kiwi, but that’s what’s like on the the front of the shirt. But like where the the the pocket would be on one of the sides.

There’s like is this kiwi like this clipart someone did a Google search for a kiwi and slap that on this black shirt then down along the sleeve. It says Harry Style in villach default Arial or Times, New Roman font. And then on the back just as generic looking with no regard to spacing or centering its just like this list of songs that I guess are on his CD no design effort.

What was put into this you have to see this thing, but that’s what my sister wanted. Oh, okay marked her off was I have no idea if this [00:05:00] thing’s gonna come in the mail. Before Christmas, okay, that’s one fuck up then one of my nieces want a hailee Steinfeld hoodie, which I guess. She’s a singer and you can only buy those.

Uh you know on you universals website. They’ve got it. You know like ice. Seven-week turnaround time I’m fucked. I’m royally fucked look at this they want what I want. They Little Mix. I don’t know that it’s like a girl group a little mix calendar in my sister provides the link you go to the link and nothing’s there it’s sold out.

My other niece wants vlogging stuff because she’s on YouTube vlogging all the time. I don’t know what the hell to get what do you need to blog first of all the only thing she ever does Vlogs on our slime like making slime different kinds of slime phenomena by like a DSLR camera with a macro lens.

It’s been like three thousand dollars, so she can get really get some good slime footage. Whatever those [00:06:00] Christmas is gonna suck. I’m gonna get them all suck sliders. Have you seen this amazing product on TV this what I think is pretty much just for the near dead you screw you spring you’re so far away.

Just bending over to put on your socks is brutally painful everyday they throw in a few young people having trouble putting on socks, but it was mostly you know scrunched up prune faces. I don’t know how much this sock slider thing cost but if you’re having trouble dressing yourself. That’s a sure sign you need to be put into a home.

You can no longer take care of yourself. Let’s face it one year, so old you can’t reach your feet anymore. He we even really need to wear socks. You’re not going. Anywhere you pretty much, just Shuffle from the bedroom to the bathroom. That’s what your life has become okay. Let’s see what this amazing product is shameful.

Everyday will [00:07:00] not anymore introducing socks lighter the fame freed know Ben Dover way to comfortably put on your socks every day, but we’re looking at here is like a plastic sleeve. To slide your sock on right and then using a plastic stick that’s coming up from the the sock slider you hold on to it, and you press your feet into the sock slider that you know you put your sock on.

I just place your sock on the Cradle lower the Cradle to the floor and slide your foot in its that easy suck slider puts the socks on for you, so bending over is something. You’d never have to do the secret. I noticed This Woman’s wearing shoes. How the fuck did she was on they gloss over that one putting socks on that.

That’s easy right cuz that’s so soft and stretchy shoes. Hello, bitches get there all day trying to get those things on something you never have to do the secret is the unique cradle design the [00:08:00] secret. It’s a. It’s a cylinder that you put your sock on it expands the sock opening and places it in the perfect position so all you have to do is slide your foot in then when you want to take them off the sock slider makes that easy to have had everything on me will wear out rebuilt back shoulders knees cyborg cyborg you are not supposed to be here.

You’re supposed to be dead sure I’ll write. For socks latter made things easy joint pain arthritis begs bad knees and surgeries limit your range of motion, but with socks lighter. There’s no twisting turning or yearning to reach your feet one simple step, and your socks are on. I mean if you’re suffering from all of those things joint pain arthritis bad back.

You just had your hip replaced. Okay, the socks slider will help you out doing one very specific thing how the fuck are you gonna live the rest of your life, though one quick movement [00:09:00] and your socks are off. I’ve suffered from chronic back pain for good portions of my life, and if I had something like this.

I could have been a little bit more independent and done things for myself dress socks casual athletic medical organ works with all sucks, man. They’re really stretching the back to find something to talk. Out here nylon polyester cotton it works with all suck types White Sox Black Sox Red Sox blue Sox.

How many more seconds left do we have in this commercial OK green socks yellow socks multi-colored socks throw any colored sock you can at the sock slider. It just works. Should we get into what type of plastic the socks sliders made out of how much time do you have its ABS plastic impression? Oh your favorite songs can be put on without restoration sucks lighter is great for moms-to-be plus it can be taken apart for convenient [00:10:00] travel and storage you expect these feeble frail old fools to take something apart and store it it can even put socks on themselves right.

That’s the sock slider. My 12 year old nieces will be receiving that as a Christmas present this year moving on to something. Not trying to shove a horse dildo in her pussy. Confuses horse horse. Are you too, baby? Okay, it is. You know how I got most sex toys have a tapered tip to help facilitate it going into whatever.

Hole you’re planning to stick it in. That’s not how this horse cock operates its like its flared at the top real wide and real girthy. It’s like expert mode for masturbation. I worries. I can’t tell what [00:11:00] hole she’s sticking it. I’m always confused. What holes women are you? I’ve maybe it’s her asshole that she’s sticking this in let’s see here.

Looks like her ass. Oh, it’s slipped out. And here is the aftermath of of that?

That’s that is how a but cries out in agony?

Oh? Oh that was attempt number two? And it sounds like it ended even worse than the first time but look if you’re going to spend all that money on a horse dildo or still to horse dildo. Horse dildo. Yeah horse dildos aren’t for quitters by go over to someone’s house, and I see a giant fat four-foot horse [00:12:00] dildo in the corner of the room.

I know what type of person. I’m dealing with. They see a challenge they accept the challenge, and they’re not going to quit until they conquered that challenge. They’re exactly the type of person. I want working for me had distorted view Industries if you’ve got a big horse dong in your house. Give me a call entire real quick before we move on to an entirely new topic.

I’ve got one more piece of pornography to share with you. It is another one of those porn parodies. What was the most popular Musical? In the last I don’t know decade I Hamilton I never saw it of course. I hate musicals, and I hate Hamilton. I’m more of a Button Gwinnett fan soon as there’s a musical about Good Old button.

I’ll be in the front row. I love that the Declaration of Independence is so important to us all oh, it’s in this Smithsonian Forest to gaze upon with deep patriotism [00:13:00] in reverence, right? What the hell did anyone back in 1776 now they they were naming their kid button that was an acceptable name can’t be that smart.

What am I talking about here? Oh yes the Hamilton porn parody? I’m not gonna play the whole thing here. I just find it interesting because they’re they’re quite chatty while sucking dick. We got two women here, and you know this is supposed to be a period piece and whenever I’m talking about porn and I use the term period piece everyone gets a little worried.

This is DV after all no this is not menstrual porn play, but they are wearing like they’re supposed to be you know in the period right I guess back in. And days whatever I was uh, but you know it’s a low-budget Affair, so they look like they just rented a couple prom dresses, but ever so there’s two women here and Hamilton sisters.

[00:14:00] Can I get richer? I think he’s rapping write a rhyming Mall while these women are sucking. Yeah, yeah. One broad is working the shaft and the other one has wrapped her fingers around the base of his balls in any and she’s just tugging on them really hard, and it’s like lady not all guys like that.

It’s a it’s a tender area sensitive good. They’re talking like they did in the 1700s. Already long recipe for Ye Olde cocksucking horn. the first [00:15:00] lady of porn Vanessa Saints LED everybody. I forgot to tell you the name of this movie. It’s of course the Hamilton porn parody, but it’s called hey hey, I’m sorry so stupid yeah.

Shit, okay, it’s called him cameltoe. Wow, we switched positions here now. Whether the girls is a sucky his dick. Sorry. I don’t know why they’re so funny me.

Hey, hey, I’m will tell okay, and then the other broad is uh licking her ass against the. last. I [00:16:00] can tell he’s rhyming if this is poetry hobbling in the background while all along. What I think I want to Turkey Panini tonight. Alright, I think I’m just one one one more clip here. He’s fucking now for the behind from the behind.

lawyer. That’s something. We’ve never heard in Port before. Not leave that phrase ever been uttered fuck my Colonial cunt alright. Let’s move on. Oh real quick before we get [00:17:00] into the news. I got to talk very shortly about this a weird subreddit that I recently ran across call ran across when searching for called rape Kink.

You know for rape aficionados. It’s kind of unclear if this is just like rape fantasies. You know like let’s pretend. I’m raping you like that. Type of situation or if this is for people who just want to rape someone. I think it’s kind of a. You’re both because there are weird posts like here’s something.

I hate I hate the whole quote. She starts liking it halfway through thing. Yeah, but that’s thing differentiates a game and real rape cuz with some women. Do is they’ll arrange raping, so she know she’ll talk to this guy into thinking. I’m gonna. Uh you know. I’m gonna walk home from work. This is the streets that I take.

One of these nights you don’t [00:18:00] tell me when it has to be a surprise. That’s part of the fun of the rape alright. Who’s not knowing. It’s coming is. I you know you’re going to a tackle me or something and throw me into your van and write me, but you know it, so it’s agreed upon, but still it’s a very exciting thing when it happens of course.

There’s going to be some fake play struggling, and I’m sure she’s still going to be a little scared because you know. Got her juices flowing in a her adrenaline and everything, but then halfway through as she gets into it because it is sex after all this guy doesn’t like that part though. He wants you to be scared and frightened the whole way through what we’re left with is not so much of the play pretty much all rape.

No play rapelay alright. Uh, so there’s that kind of post over there. Here’s another one does anyone else find [00:19:00] themselves doing this. I guarantee you all of us are going to raise our hand here lately. I found myself saying moaning different things when I come when masturbating. Please rape me fuck me like the whore i m o I would love video of this.

Uh who talks to themselves when they’re masturbating this is weird. Please make me your slut. Hit my fucking face rape my holes. Choke me make me cry make me gag. I suspect. This is because lately. I haven’t had a partner. Yeah, so these things I’m just saying moaning out loud when masturbating it’s like I need to act it out somehow since I don’t have a partner to rape me I miss the sex thing with a partner guys.

It’s something that I really need in my life any potential rapists hit me. Up that person never post again. He or she is dead alright. I here’s another post. Is it [00:20:00] possible to do this as a guy question mark yeah, I think you can rape as a man. I want to be raped by either male or female it doesn’t matter gate as long as I’m not in control.

That’s part of the you know part of the fun of rape. I guess you never know who’s doing the raping. It’s usually guys though right right it seems like doing. This as a guy is nearly impossible. You can rape guys. What are you talking about where there’s a will? There’s a way? That’s what I say no one can keep their asshole clenched that type for too long.

Eventually. It’s got to loosen up a little bit a window of opportunity as I call it and that’s when you strike, although. I’m thinking you know he’s like. I’m a good. I want to get raped, but I think what he’s talking about is like I want someone to Lake. I Wanna Be I wanna fuck someone. I want I want someone to force me to fuck them.

And that’s not a real raping. You know I mean like your bottles going to get raped. That’s what [00:21:00] that’s what a real raping is he’s like I want to be raped by either male or female. It doesn’t matter as long as I’m not in control, but it seems like doing this as a guy is nearly impossible advice. I’m not sure where I’d want to even start aside from prison, but I’m not that test print.

Yeah commit a felony and get a prison see then maybe you’ll get right. I’m very desperate. Here’s the first person to reply very helpful. You could try gay bars of course yet, and this guy was never heard from Again. By the way the the poster the original person who posted this replied to the gay bar suggestion, and he was like that’s not as violent as I’d prefer you not going to the right gay bars.

That option is closer to a date date-rape involves more seducing rather than fourth like he really wants to put little effort into this no schmoozing. No dinner dancing. He wants to get right to the raping a guy after my own [00:22:00] heart right in with that. Let’s get into the crazy bizarre twist

vodka knows you’re right. If you like distorted view daily, please consider supporting the show. Help ensure that this thing continues on for a long long time best way to support. The show of course is decide up the sideshow become a true and honorable freak over there at super freak Sideshow.com.

I do a free show here for everyone two or three times a week all of the other shows are just 4-cycle members full-length episodes. We do many casts videos having a lot of those, but I pledge to you in the new year assuming. I lose about 90 pounds. You’ll see more of me on camera. But we do other video things to DB logs that type of stuff.

I it’s very inexpensive. It’s only $6.99 a month or 6699 year [00:23:00] however right now. This is the last week for uh holiday sale. Get a monthly or yearly membership at an incredible price up to 30% off if you do some creative map it is an awesome deal help support. The show go to super freak side should calm right now.

Okay, three quick stories, and we’ll get the hell out of here first up a grieving woman named Deborah Parsons will have her mother Doreen for Christmas dinner this year, what? I scattering her ashes on the turkey and then tucking in and for dessert chill enjoy Christmas pudding with a dusting of her mom’s last remains as well Deborah obese and 41 has felt the urge to eat doreen’s ashes since she died in May.

And has had a small Spoonful most days o to feel as close as possible to her does [00:24:00] she like mix it with water or something. You know like a powdered drink, or does. She just take a spoonful of Ashen jam it down her throat cuz I can’t go down easy right ashes eating ashes. And you know you’re just gonna poop those out so ultimately your mom’s gonna be floating and sewage that how you that.

How you want to leave her as she faces Christmas without her the craving has come back even stronger. It’s the only thing that will get me through my first Christmas without my mom said Deborah. She also said people might think I’d mad or that is not very respectful, but I just can’t stop myself. I see it as a positive thing allowing her to be close to me and also involving her in the family day.

Let’s take a family trip down my digestive tract. I feel like she can live on by being inside of me because if she is [00:25:00] apart of me. She can breathe through my body my breath is her. That’s normal. It’ll be my first Christmas without her, and I want her to be involved in this is the only way that feels right to me have the fucking elf on a shelf hold her earn or something sprinkle a little bit of her on top of the Christmas tree if you want if you want to be a part of the festivities don’t eat her to bring Brown died suddenly from an airway obstruction after suffering a chest infection in May.

It was yet another tragedy for mother-of-two Deborah who lost a son at Christmas 1996 when he was born prematurely. I stuck the stillborn in the oven we had a Christmas Feast that year. I still have some of the gristle alright. Uh where we out here. She has struggled for years to cope with her grief.

She’s not doing a very good job, but when Doreen passed away she plunged into an all-time low. My mom and I had a really strong [00:26:00] bond and one which could never be broken even by death Deborah said she’s been the one who has helped me through all the other ups and downs in my life, and then suddenly she just wasn’t there anymore.

I was distraught after the funeral and cremation Debra began to think what she would do with Doreen ashes. She rejected the traditional idea of scattering them at a Beauty Spot that her mom loved it wasn’t something I ever thought about I always thought I would have more time to think about it. I knew Mom was hell, but I never expected her to pass away when she did yeah, I decided I wanted to do something with her ashes that would make a difference to how we remember her she will live inside my belly nom nom nom at first.

I kept the ashes in a plastic sandwich bag. I wanted to be with them at all times, then I got a little box for them, so I could have them on display. I don’t know what made me do this the first time. It was just an urge. I open the box and licked my fingers and just dip them into the [00:27:00] powder. There was a candy that you could you would do that with right with like a sticky like fun sticks or something.

I don’t know uh before I knew it I was before. I knew what I was doing they were in my mouth, and the chalky salty taste was comforting each day Deborah’s urges to eat her Mom’s ashes become harder to resist. It has Christmas near she’s planning to take her secret to the next level. I’ve been having a little taste most days sometimes on my finger or a little spoon, but Christmas is always been a really difficult time.

What the hell is she gonna. Do I don’t want to just eat the ashes on my fingers. I’d like Mom to be a part of the celebration this year, so I will have her with my Christmas dinner Debra’s fiance really. That’s probably the most shocking part of this story. Uh has supported her through her grief and they plan to marry next year.

I’m lucky that my loved ones understand what I’m doing Deborah said and my mom would have been [00:28:00] happy for me to do whatever. I needed your eating her you didn’t your mom is gonna be okay with that. Oh, whatever you need to do to get through the day Debra. Go ahead take a bite out of me right. I know my mom would have been happy for me to do whatever.

I needed to get over no longer having her in my life, so there you go. Love those Christmas themes story second-story we have for you today scientists say Japanese monkeys are having sexual interactions with deer first of all monkeys will fuck anything right you look at him in the zoo there like jacking off while staring at you lust in their eyes, so you know they’re on the wild they see a deer tears are dumb.

They don’t run away fast now. They get raped by a monkey that’s nature. In the article is suggesting though. This is more widespread epidemic. If you will wear monkeys are just finding dear pussy irresistible adolescent female monkeys in Japan have [00:29:00] repeatedly engaged in sexual behaviors with see qadir for reasons that are not yet clear have you seen those fucking deer big juicy doe ass.

Adolescent female monkeys of Japan have repeatedly engaged in sexual behavior with C qadir for reasons that are not yet clear the study published in the peer-reviewed sexual. I’m sorry Archives of sexual behavior follows up on a single report from earlier this year of a male monkey mounting of female seeking deer on uh yeah, Kashima Island that report was intriguing mused you yeah.

Monkey fucking deer intriguing you do tell a co-author of the new study told the guardian. It was essentially anecdotal even the sexual nature of this interaction was not clearly demonstrated pics, or it didn’t happen these monkeys. What kind of monkeys are these the macaque macaca macaque monkeys as in macaque is really responding to that hot [00:30:00] dear over there.

Well, I guess a new study took place looking at a different set of relationships adolescent female monkeys in Deer particularly male deer in Japan the researchers found interactions that definitely seem to be sexual in nature. The female monkeys were climbing onto the deer and grinding their genitals against the deers backs.

Japanese macaques are known to ride dear like humans ride horses for fun or for transportation Behavior the deer seem to tolerate in exchange for grooming and discarded food, but these monkeys were up to something different the researchers compared the monkey deer interactions, which happened during mating season with homosexual monkey on monkey in Iraq.

Where female macaques Mount each other they paid close attention to the mounting postures its own pay for this research, the monkeys assumed on the deer and the vocalizations. They made to determine that the [00:31:00] interactions were in fact sexual at least for the Monkees some of the deer shook. The monkey’s off and fled the situation, but adult male deal a deer in particular were likely to just stand calmly as the female monkeys thrusted.

In some cases the male deer kept eating five of the female monkeys had successfully hetero specific Consortium. What’s that mean that is they had a temporary, but exclusive sexual association with an individual from another species by the way if the deer avoided the interaction of ran away or flat or whatever the female monkeys often displayed sexually motivated Tantrums.

Sounds like sounds like almond, which consisted of crouching on the ground body spasms and screaming while gazing at the deer devil eyes. What does all of this mean monkeys are more like [00:32:00] humans every day. You know how we grind our genitals up against deer. Well, what could be happening here is a couple things first of all you know riding the deer could have stimulated their genitals, and they realized.

Oh, this feels good. I should try fucking the deer that’s something. Uh another possibility is that this is an outlet for monkeys with no available section. You know sex partners. Oh my God. They’re dear prostitutes. Monkeys might just be practicing sex you know I’d getting some good experience before they do the real thing adolescent monkeys grinding on the backs of deer might similarly be a cultural phenomenon.

It’s only been observed at my new over there in Japan within the past few years the monkey dear sexual interactions reported in our paper May reflect the early-stage development of a new behavioral Tradition at Mid new. Alternatively the paper notes it could be a short-lived fad [00:33:00] like acid wash jeans or the Macarena final story.

We have for you today a man in West Virginia says he was consumed with jealousy over his girlfriend’s occupation as a stripper whore so he decided to solve the problem. By torching the fucker to the ground uh Creo Bishop. 21 was arrested on Wednesday and charged with second-degree arson for allegedly setting fire to JB’s Gentlemen’s Club in Huntington according to a statement from The Office of the State Fire Marshal The Blaze ignited.

Just after 3:30 a.m.. On Wednesday after which Bishop fled on foot from the scene, but he didn’t get far. Deputies with the cable County Sheriff’s Department caught up with a suspected arsonist in a Walmart parking lot this sounds, just like West Virginia across the street from the burning strip joint and promptly detained him when questioned about his motive [00:34:00] the 21 year-old excitedly stated that he was tired of his girlfriend working at JB’s.

You know he probably met her. At the strip club. He was so excited to start dating a stripper, but then after you acquire the stripper girlfriend now the sun you don’t want her stripping anymore to real conundrum. Uh when questioned about his motive. He was excited. He say that he was tired of his girlfriend working at JB’s, so he set it on fire.

You could have just asked her to stop Bishop was maybe you could get a high-paying job, so she she wouldn’t have to work. There are a lot of options there, and did not involve our shit Bishop was transported to the Western Regional Jail where he was ordered held on $10,000 Bond. No injuries were reported.

Uh as a result of the fire, which scorched the front door siding. Walls air conditioning unit and surveillance cameras of course. Surveillance cameras also [00:35:00] probably caught him on. You know video Jamie’s general manager, Jim Reed estimated the total damage was about $1,000. Oh he didn’t burn that much at the start of the story.

I thought like he burned the fucking thing to a crisp $1000. That’s like you know a door or a couple windows or something alright. Uh the girlfriend Mikaela biedenbach. Add been dancing at the club for the last six months to earn a living He described the woman as quiet and nice, but said that if her boyfriend is released from jail.

He would be forced to let her go I hate doing this, but I gotta protect my business. He might do it again social media posts reveal that Bishop in Biden bark met in high school. Oh, and they’ve been together since 2013 so. Uh there you go young love that my friends are distorted news for Sunday Sunday Sunday.

Let’s do a couple voicemails and get the hell out of here keep in mind. This to contact does of [00:36:00] course you can email me show a distorted view send along links to news stories 20 pieces of audio pornography whatever. I don’t judge, and if you don’t want me to use your name. You can make up a name, or you could just you know.

Tell me don’t use my name. I typically less you say that I can use your name or using like an alias. I won’t say anything umm of course voicemail. I’m for you to I was six six six 4463. We have a special voicemail line just for our patrons. It’s another way you can support. The show go to patriotic distorted view pledge a few dollars my way right as a matter fact.

Let’s check in with a couple of patrons here. Hey term Superfly Hugh, two things so personally I always piss standing up I eat even when I’m drunk. My move is like spot too drunk to stand up straight. Yeah. We’ve been talking about this. I think it started on the sideshow about how there’s a large percentage of guys who will who have no trouble like [00:37:00] sitting down to piss while they’re at home, and I admitted that I do that.

Because I like to watch my YouTube videos and read and stuff, and I just I just like being in the bathroom. I guess I mean if I’m in a hurry. You know or you know I’m in the middle of the day or whatever. I’ll stand up at PACE or whatever and then do my thing, but at the end of the night or something.

I just want to I’ll just sit down and who knows sometimes a shit might sneak up on me. You know not unexpected shit. Which is a nice. What I thought was I leaned forward, and I put my hand of the wall. Oh yeah, I’ve done that to my other hand on my dick, so I’m basically tilted it like that. 30 degree angle okay at that point.

It’s just a straight shot. I hate what math is involved and then that way there’s no balance issues. You just stay up the second game on your most recent show. I think you were talking about a guy who showed the two Freight. Something up his ass, and I you were surprised that this almost killed him, but you wouldn’t be [00:38:00] surprised if you’re familiar with your old school rap, and I’m going to quote the sage advice of ice.

Cube. Feet is actually pretty big. Due to check yourself before you wreck yourself. Yes big dicks in your ass are bad for your help Junior Tim. Yeah, I guess I can sort of see that. I don’t know what I was thinking to Peter’s pretty big. I guess can you move turning prolapse going to do voicemail War Vladimir Putin go fuck yourself.

Do you want to ya blad Amir Putin called into the show I don’t know on Friday or Thursday and said that Tony prolapse was calling in too much. So Tony prolapse promptly called into the voicemail line. You know I actually I’m gonna call in every fucking day. Just piss you off. I think that right.

I’m going to play first motherfucker. I’m just going to run shit out of you right. It’s like you know it should everyone else. I reserve the right to not play something stupid fateful Russian accent right you’re fucking idiot. [00:39:00] Write every day now every fucking day. You look what you’ve done Vladimir Putin.

Rectify the situation, please hey, give me both measures Cheryl Burke. Hausky. Sorry if I don’t shine on my normal self. I missing car you know with the band anyway. I wanted to show you up. You know people at home, but the thing about Auto white correctly well. Here’s how I do it. We are not talking about wiping acids.

We’ve moved on. We’ve furthered. We’ve Advanced the conversation my Mantra fries twice from the back. Then again once the front I stand up. Get wet white too much, and I just all from the back of Galbraith. Thank you very much. No one wants to hear you’re wiping technique one more here.

I got the white white meat yo, DC. Snap it up [00:40:00] using the vibrator on your little twat a white BBW twat and she snapping it up yo. Happy New Years to all have a good holiday. I’m so confused now. I kinda almost tune out in the voicemail. I’m better. I’m like you guys because I don’t understand what’s going on half the time.

Have a good holiday. Thank you, and I just wanted to share with job keep zapping that BBW twat big Millennial Glade vibrator. They send the big bracket NASA up over there to say no. Total business ship my phone right now. You’ll and have a good New Year, okay. Hope your New Year’s is prosperous mind ballads like I hope so because young ladies and he did.

You’d be sitting sending me these snaps and the [00:41:00] Snapple chats with role that was that woman that was that’s a real woman. That’s not like porn that you’re playing. Hope you knew you Proctor mine some some lady. You’re talking to lady sent you this Snapper this video or whatever of her vibrating. I hope herself young lady.

I say that he’d be sitting sending me these snaps and the Snapple chess. To throw up. Have a good New Year Freaks and very special holiday right. Thank you good. God Mush Mouth idiot that is all the time. We have on this Edition show want you guys derail me show at the start of Unicom distort of you like Amazon official website.

Fully smell on for you to our 666 4463. That’s 206. Oh God is not good. Tell your friends about the show. I some people were asking me about what the holiday schedule. Was like and you know Christmas [00:42:00] is on is really not until next next week, so we’re going to be doing a full week of shows this week.

Next week’s going to be a little different because Monday’s Christmas, so I probably won’t start chose until the 26th, so we’ll miss a day there, but don’t worry about anything next week full week a program starting tomorrow. Come back by everybody my Jewish friend. Thank you for joining me here tonight, Trulia.

my friend. Thank you for. Into like I don’t you here tonight. My Opera tell you the name of this movie. It’s of course the Hamilton porn parody, but it’s called hey. Hey, I’m sorry so stupid.

[00:43:00] Shit, okay, it’s called him cameltoe. Oh,

we’ve switched positions here now one of the girls is a sucky his dick. Sorry. I don’t want and so funny to me. Hey, hey, I’m will tell.