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Legitimate Rape Booster Shots are now available for those sluggish vagina’s this Winter. When a real sexual assault is happening, you don’t want a slow-to-react coont.

Stephen Phelgood of the Phelgood “Fancy Style” Abortion Clinique is having an autumn special! tHe leaves on the trees are withering and dying, so why not let the same thing happen to your unwanted “mistake?”

It’s time for The 3rd Annual 9/11 on Main Street Fair! Don’t miss the 700 Pound Pentagon Butter Sculpture! Run through the Haze Maze, a replica of several New York City Blocks. When you’re hungry, stop by the Food Trauma Pavilion for some Jihad Juice and deep fried Twin(kie) Towers.