On Today’s Show:

Introduction 0:00.000
Back To The Sleep Clinic 1:19.135
A Chris Chan Call From Prison 3:32.019
A Couple Having Loud Bush Sex 8:28.996
A Family Friendly Segment: Let’s Learn Our ABCs 10:41.854
Indian Singer Uses The N Word. Is That OK? 14:59.099
French Canadian Woman Has A Problem With Asians 17:44.250
Angry Voicemail Feed Back Over Asian News Anchor Talking About Dumplings 19:18.063
Support DV And Get Exclusive Content 22:39.776
Pabst Wants Us All To Eat Ass 24:04.411
Lickable TV Screens 28:56.065
Another Inflight Temper Tantrum 34:06.556
Voicemails / Ending 38:45.951

 

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QUICK AND DIRTY TRANSCRIPT

Tim Henson:
Breaks it’s Wednesday, January 5, 2022 Coming up on the program today, which beer brand is highly encouraging you to give rim jobs this month. Plus, I’m sick and tired of Asians bragging about their dumplings. Chris Chan calls from prison and the future of television is a lickable flavorful, flat screen. Distorted View Daily proudly presents great moments in gay sex. Oh, fuck

Tim Henson:
the Distorted View show with Tim Hanson. The guy he’s in the dirty underwear or something. I don’t know. He’s never freak. I want to come while I eat your smelly, hairy, wet pussy. I just want to say, how dare you. Yes, dimension back here with you for the Wednesday show. Got a great program real quick before we get into audio short programming notes. Tomorrow’s show may be delayed or postponed because, yes, I got to go back and do another sleep study. They called and they thought it would be a good idea to do it as soon as possible because get this, I won’t have to take another COVID test because COVID tests are good for two weeks. Isn’t that the stupidest shit you’ve ever heard? A lot can go down in two weeks, right? I could get a covid test test negative, then go on a Carnival cruise and swing by Wuhan China fucking ground zero for Covet, then come back and take my sleep study all within a two week span. You know what I’m saying? Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad I don’t have to take another COVID test because I don’t want to jam that fucking swab up my nostril. But this idea that you’re like, after you take a test, you’re immune for two weeks is silly. I told you guys during my last sleep study, I had trouble sleeping. I only slept like 2 hours or something like that. So they prescribed some ambient. I’m going to be knocked the fuck out. I’m kind of looking forward to that. I’ll let you guys know how it all goes. The nurse on the phone today was telling me, even after I do this study, they will order the CPAP machine if I need it. But it may not come for like, one to six months because of supply chain issues, which, okay. I’ve been sleeping without a machine my entire life. I’ll probably be okay for the next month or two or whatever. But what about the people who are diagnosed with severe sleep apnea? You’re told at the end of the study you stop breathing on average, 58 times an hour. And typically, when you stop breathing, you do it for 15 to 45 seconds. It’s like a lot of oxygen not going to your brain. The person probably freaked the fuck out. And then on top of it, they’re like, yeah, it’s going to be about six months before we can even do anything for you. Just try not to die within that time. Really? Focus on breathing while you sleep anyway. If I do miss the show tomorrow. We’ll just push everything back. Friday will be a side show exclusive episode. We’ll do a weekend podcast. You know how it goes. All right, listen, I’ve got a bunch of great audio to share with you today. We kick things off with New Christchan audio. Yes. A call from prison. Christine, I’m sorry. Christine Weston Chandler. You may remember last year on my birthday one of the best birthday gifts I ever received. Chris Chan was arrested for fucking his mother. It’s like the greatest Distorted View story, right? Yes. He banged his mom, who is feeble, maybe senile. He was thankfully apprehended thrown into jail again. This was back in August. He is still rotting away in prison. But, you know, in this phone call, he is oddly upbeat. That’s a true sign of an insane person, of course. Yeah. I’m having the time of my life in prison. Things are going well. Got a lot to look forward to. I don’t know how this phone call was arranged. It was obviously recorded by a troll who is pretending to befriend Chris Chan. The audio isn’t great, so I will try to relay what he’s saying. So you guys can understand here very well. Things are going well. Yeah, the food is not the best, but the people are great. Chris is making a lot of friends. I don’t think he understands that he’s in prison

Tim Henson:
again. Hard to understand, but I think you get a good idea. Chris’s mindset here. His mind is collapsing. He says, I’m literally fighting a whole bunch of demons and villains, and I’m defending cities, saving the world multiple times. And I’ve been answering prayers. I think Chris Chan is convinced she is the second coming of Christ. I’m definitely not lazy, and we’re going to have this thing coming happen. Really? In the very near future, not collectively shipping. Everybody is a majority anyway. Yes. Chris says he’s not lazy. He’s been very busy and he’s going to shift people to a C 197 Earth, which I guess is like a multiverse type thing. It’s a different Earth.

Tim Henson:
Yeah. In that clip, I’m more concerned with the gunshots being fired at Chris Chan. I think he’s trying to say that only his mom and God know the exact details of when he’s going to shift people to the new Earth. Well, only my mother in vengeance. God above God. I believe those are fireworks. I don’t think anyone’s shooting at Chris. I’m not allowed to know specific day and hour, but she knows it. And I know it’s in a very near future. And also it definitely emphasizes the deeper reasoning why I ended up taking the hiatus writing drawing the Christmas episode of Sonic Book number Eleven. I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about here. Sonic Chew book Eleven.

Tim Henson:
Yeah. Chris Chan was calling just to wish this person a Merry Christmas. So if you were curious about Chris Chan how he was doing, apparently he’s fine. I mean, not mentally. He’s cuckoo crazy bananas, but he seems happy. I hope this is all part of his upcoming defense. He’s gonna plead insanity might just work out for him, wasn’t he calling himself Mama for a while and acting as if he was the Queen of the universe and he was going to open a rift to another dimension and transfer people to that new dimension where Sonic Chew lives. Yeah, he should tell the judge that or just pull down his pants and show the judge’s pussyhole, which isn’t really a pussyhole. Remember, he got, like, a cut or something on his taint and it got infected and the wound never healed. So Christian just started fingering it and making it bigger. He thought God or the universe was providing a Con for him. I mean, if you haven’t been following the saga of Chris Chan, you’ve really been missing out. All right, we got to move on, though. I love this next clip because it’s relatively short. It takes place in another country, but that’s okay. Despite it not being in English, it’s one of those universally entertaining clips. No matter what language you speak, you can get enjoyment out of this. We’ve got a couple of people fucking in a Bush.

Tim Henson:
People filming our laughs, of course, is that Wario getting laid? Wah, Wah Bino nut. Yet Wah can’t tell if the guy is enjoying himself or if he’s crying here.

Tim Henson:
Maybe it’s the woman moaning. I don’t know what those sex noises are, but someone passing by does not appreciate having to witness two people fucking in a Bush. She just happens to have a giant piece of wood in her hands and she’s going to start swatting this plank at the people in the bushes.

Tim Henson:
She just keeps hitting them.

Tim Henson:
You know what? Those two people having sex in the bushes sounded like, you know, that turtle that was like fucking a shoe or something. Maybe it was having sex with another turtle, getting its Dick wet in some way, shape or form. But yeah, it makes that noise.

Tim Henson:
The Bush was more like the turtle, by the way, is most definitely fucking another turtle. And that turtle does not seem impressed, seems bored and slightly annoyed. Believe me, I know that look moving on now. One of my New Year’s resolutions this year is to make Distorted View Daily just a little more family friendly. Not everything I do has to be fuck this and come fart that and prolapse assholes. It gets tiresome. It’s lazy is what it is. I would really love it if everyone young and old could enjoy Distorted View Daily. Maybe together it could bring families closer. So today we take a first step. If you’re a parent, invite your children to come listen to this next segment. It’s not only entertaining, it’s educational. One of the best most effective ways children learn is through song. I found a very fun and unique version of the Alphabet song that I would like to share with you. Now take a listen. Oh, yeah. We all know this.

Tim Henson:
This is the Alphabet that we love to sing.

Tim Henson:
It should be noted that they’re not talking about the musical instrument. Drums. Pretty sure they’re talking about drum magazines. You know, the kind that store rounds of ammunition. Yes, this is the Alphabet song for children of Gunnuts. My two favorite moments. We’re only up to D, but I already have a few favorite moments. One, there’s no such thing as an assault rifle that’s made up and C, which is for compliance, which no one should support.

Tim Henson:
Everyone should own.

Tim Henson:
Really working hard to fit the lyrics into the tune. Here the video. There’s a book, actually like a coloring book of the Gun ABCs. And there are some children coloring and very poorly. By the way, they should be less concerned about shooting guns and a little more worried about staying within the line. I will say this children are learning way more about guns than I know. I have no idea what even a ghost gun is. After a short instrumental break. Here we get back to the Alphabet.

Tim Henson:
Y is for you. Stay armed or get shot. Sleep tight, kids stay armed or get shot.

Tim Henson:
There you go. That’s the gun. Abcs keeping with the musical theme. I’ve got one more song I wanted to share with you today. Is this a Linda Finkel Hall of Famer? I’ll let you be the judge. It certainly has a nice beat, right? That sounds good. Although songs have tricked me like that before. 1st, 30 seconds or so are fine. And then the screeching starts. Let me fast forward here and see what we’re in for.

Tim Henson:
It’s a different language. It’s like Indian or something, but he’s not bad.

Tim Henson:
There’s some autotune going on there. He’s not great, but I’ve heard much worse. Why am I playing this on TV,

Tim Henson:
right? That’s why I’m playing the song.

Tim Henson:
One, I don’t think you are what you say you are here. Two. I don’t know the rules. Is this guy allowed to say he’s a black N word? He’s dark skinned, like even for an Indian. I feel like I’m being racist, even though I’m trying very hard not to be. But, yeah, he’s like a dark skinned Indian guy, but he’s not an African or an African American. But maybe there are different rules in India or wherever the hell he’s at. I think you’re only allowed to call black people the N word. I mean, white people are not allowed to, but other black people can call black people the N word. Black people can use the N word on themselves or other people Indians. I’m sorry you’re out of bounds here. The artist’s name is Lil Blackout. He’s really all in on this black thing. His name is Lil Blackout. The song is called Black Nigga. Is this in English? And I’m just not understanding it because the accent is so thick, I think he’s talking about his car here. He’s got a big budget car.

Tim Henson:
That’s really the takeaway of this song. He wants you to know he’s a black N word. All right, well, thank you. Great song. Maybe that lyric was about his big black cock. Wow. You’re just trying to take everything from the black man, aren’t you? Their words. The fact they are well endowed talk about co opting one’s culture, big budget cock. I have no idea if anyone can translate this. Please email me. All right, let’s move on. Yes, move on. But we’re still going to try to keep it a little racist. We’re going to stay in that neighborhood for a while. The next few clips have nothing to do with African Americans, though, and everything to do with Asians. Since this covid 19 pandemic started, there’s been a lot of hate towards Asians. It’s their fault they brought it over here. That line of thinking, usually it’s dumb. White people screeching the hate speech in this clip. We’re up in Canada. It’s a French Canadian woman who seems to have a real problem with the Asians. Take a listen. This takes place in a grocery store.

Tim Henson:
Oh, I love her accent. Kind of makes the hate she’s spewing sound nice. It’s always funny when you get someone yelling, screaming racist stuff at people who live in the same country as you. Yeah, they’re Asian, but they don’t live in China. They’ve got nothing to do. Really, with what’s going on over there. Anyway, next to the video, the woman whips out her phone because she sees she’s being recorded. She does that move. We’re like, yeah, you’re filming me? I’m filming you. And by the way, you’re recorded,

Tim Henson:
she keeps saying that she’s a big lawyer. She’s got a family that’s lawyers,

Tim Henson:
it goes on and on from there. The other Asian hate clip is more interesting to me. This is great. This is a voicemail left to an Asian American news anchor. Apparently, a white viewer was very upset that this woman was throwing her Koreanness in all of our faces. It’s uncalled for. It’s unamerican. And she should really know that most of the people in the United States are white. So tone that Ching Chung shit down Connie Chung. All right, let’s hear how dumb this bitch sounds. Hi. This evening, your Asian anchor mentioned something about being Asian and Asian people eat dumplings on New Year’s Day and kind of take offense to that. Of course you do. She’s got that voice that tells me she takes offense to just about everything she hears just to recap what happened was on New Year’s. This woman was doing the news and mentioned, yeah, later today, I’ll probably be eating some dumplings. It’s an Asian tradition. That was most likely the extent of it. This viewer was so incensed with what she heard. She found the phone number to the local news station and got this Asian anchors extension to leave a voicemail dumplings on New Year’s Day and kind of take offense to that, because what if one of your white anchors said, well, white people eat this on New Year’s Day? She’s so dumb, she doesn’t even understand that’s not an equivalent thing. It’s no different than saying, like, Italians eat fish on Christmas. So tonight I’m going to eat fish. Would this woman be upset with that? No, because I look white. It’s only because ethnically, this news anchor looks different, not white. Now she’s throwing it all in our faces. Meanwhile, the male white anchor, who is of German descent, was like, yeah, I’m going to have some sauerkraut, maybe cram a few sausages down my throat. That’s also how I spent my new years. But I’m sure this viewer wouldn’t have a problem with that, at least with the German guy. She may have a problem with me sucking a bunch of New Year’s Dick, but, hey, that’s my culture. It’s a tradition. All right, let me finish up with this call. I don’t think it was appropriate that she said that, and she’s being very Asian. She’s being too Asian. Very Asian, very Asian. I don’t know. She can keep her Korean bursels. All right. Sorry. It was annoying if a white person would say that they would get fired. So say something about what? White. Thank you. There you go. Another valid concern from a white victim just airing her grievances. No word yet on if the news anchor is going to tone down her Korean Ness or not. All right. And with that, let’s get into the crazy, bizarre twist to the fucked up news.

Tim Henson:
Well, now there are multiple ways to get exclusive content from Distorted View Daily. Of course, we’ve got the Sideshow website, Superfreaksideshow. Com. You can sign up over there, download episodes right from the website, and get access to special RSS feeds that are password protected. They contain all of the free and exclusive shows it works with most podcast apps. Apple podcast overcast many of the Android apps. More information is over there at superfreatscia. Com. If you use Spotify primarily to listen to podcast, you can now subscribe and get exclusive episodes right in Spotify. And finally, if you’re not so tech savvy and you don’t want to deal with RSS feeds and stuff, and you use Apple, you can now subscribe and get access to exclusive shows right in the Apple podcast app. Just be aware that this one is a work in progress. Every day I’m uploading older exclusive shows today. I think we got all the way back to June of 2021. Every day. I try to do at least three months worth. It’s a time consuming process, but, yeah, if you sign up, you’ll always have something new to listen to as I continue to add these older exclusive programs. So just really three different ways to get Sideshow content the normal way through Super Freak Sideshow and of course, Spotify. And now you can go right through Apple podcast apps. All right, that’s enough of that. Thank you to all of my Sideshow members, regardless of how you consume the content. All right, three very quick stories. Now, first up, Papst Blue Ribbon beer a favorite among hipsters. At least it used to be. I don’t know if that’s still the case growing up, that was my dad’s favorite. I just assumed it was because it was cheap, right? And we’re white trash the perfect fit. Maybe that’s why hipsters globbed onto it. Anyway, perhaps Blue Ribbon is in a bunch of hot water for a tweet. All these companies want their Twitter accounts to take after Wendy’s, say snarky things, reply and roast other Twitter users. It’s a balancing act, though. Sometimes you can go too far. Haps Blue Ribbon was really entering 2020, and they were coming in rather hot. This all has to do with that dry January thing we were talking about the other day on the podcast, this idea that people take a break from drinking booze for the entire month of January. Well, booze and beer companies don’t like that idea. Obviously, their sales would go down. Right? So perhaps Tweeted not drinking this January. Try eating ass. I don’t know if they were trying to be helpful to get your mind off of the fact you’re not drinking any beer. Try eating butt, something to do, something to put your mouth around, or if they were like being mean, like, hey, you’re not going to drink our beer this January will fuck you. Eat ass. It’s so hard to tell what they were going for. Well, when someone on Twitter ask the company what the tweet against dry January was all about, it said it’s about ass and eating it, perhaps really doubling down on the whole asseating thing. The Tweet went viral as users expressed their shock. The official brand would use such crass language to discuss those trying to cut back their alcohol intake. In the new year. One user took the opportunity to make fun of the beer company writing PBR or Ass. Really? What’s the difference? Perhaps still cranky replied, ask your mom. Twitter users quickly memed the tweet making fun of the thought process behind the social media campaign gone wrong. I think that’s what really got the patched. People a little nervous while PBR’s Twitter account didn’t publicly address the inappropriate post, they were deleted by Monday afternoon. When asked for comment, the company wouldn’t elaborate on its social media strategy or who the fuck was in front of the computer at the time, but in turn wrote that, I guess perhaps was also promoting a competing campaign to dry January that they called wet January. I don’t know if that had anything to do with ass wet ass getting ass wet, or if it was pretty much about drinking alcohol. Nick really? Paps Blue Ribbons vice President of marketing, said we apologize about the language and content of our recent tweets. The tweets in question were written in poor judgment by one of our associates really said in the statement. In no way does the content of these tweets reflect the value of Paps and our associates who are handling the matter internally and have removed the Tweets from our social platforms. Haps Blue Ribbon’s Wet January campaign began on January 1 when it wrote, what if January wasn’t dry, along with a photo of beer carrying people in rain jackets the next day? Pbr tweeted again. Most months have 30 days, some have less. Only one month has 31 days. But January that tweet is just factually wrong, though, like March has 31 days, and that’s just like two months after January. You should have known about that one. While many Twitter users were quick to comment and create related memes of their own, at least one non beer brand also weighed in. Slim Jim’s official account replied this morning to PBR’s now deleted Tweet, the one where they encourage us all to eat ass Slim Jim tweeted that legal must have off until the 4 January. For all the fuss about PBR’s beyond tasteless Tweet that got deleted, they still are running tons of tweets about wet January, wrote David Berkowitz, a senior vice President of corporate marketing at Media Ocean. That’s in equally fortes, given that its grade school sexual innuendo combined with making light of people trying to push back against alcoholism since this morning, PBR’s Twitter account has not posted anything other than the word beer. They just tweeted beer. Let’s play it safe today, guys. Just tweet where we are beer. They also retweeted a 2012 Tweet that says Pat truck full of bees, not beer bees. What the fuck is going on over at PBR? Are they all drunk? They’re all drunk. They’re all participating in Wet January. All right, second story we have for you today. Well, the future is here. And for once, I’m not talking about the monkey future. This is better than the monkey future. Maybe. I guess it all depends on how it’s implemented. A Japanese Professor,

Tim Henson:
you know, the Japanese come up with the best stuff. Well, now a Japanese Professor has developed a prototype Likable TV screen just to play Devil’s advocate. Here. Tv screens right now are currently lickable. They just don’t taste great. That’s the real innovation that this professor came up with. The screen imitates food flavors yet another step towards creating a multisensory viewing experience that will primarily just be used for pornography. Look, the adult entertainment industry has always been at the forefront of new technology. Why would this be any different? I wonder what’s easier to imitate food flavors are like the taste of pussy or butthole. Could you imagine how embarrassing it would be if you’re like a 14 year old boy and you’re caught by your parents watching one of these films? Like you bought a lickable porn Bluray or you downloaded a movie and you’re whacking off. You’re watching the scene, you’re licking the TV and your parents walk in. Your hand is on your cock. Your big fat tongue is pressed up on the TV screen right where the actress’s cunt is at. Hi, ma’am. I didn’t think you were going to be getting home soon. Oh, my God, Brian, take your tongue off that TV pussy. Sorry, mom. You have a TV in your bedroom. Why would you use the living room? Tv is bigger and you’re telling me you had to lick an 85 inch vagina. What is wrong with you? The device is called TTV Titty TV. No, it’s a taste TV. It uses a carousel of ten flavor canisters that spray in combination to create the taste of a particular food. The flavor sample then rolls on hygienic film over a flat screen TV for the viewer to try. In the Kovan 19 era, this kind of technology can enhance the way people connect and interact with the outside world. That’s according to Meiji University Professor Homei Mailashida, the goal is to make it possible for people to have the experience of something like eating at a restaurant on the other side of the world. Even while staying home. This will never catch on. And I’ll tell you why, long before this idea of lickable TVs smell a vision that was going to be the next big thing, and it sounds like it would be easier to accomplish with lickable TVs. You got to mix flavors together and you’ve got to have that film. You all aren’t spreading germs and stuff. Meanwhile, with Smell of vision, you just need to spray a couple of cents. You mix those comes out in a mist, fills the room. Everyone can enjoy the stink, yet smell of vision never really caught on my yesterday works with a team of about 30 students that has produced a variety of flavor related devices, including a fork that makes food taste richer. He says he built the TTV prototype. Sounds like someone’s stuttering. Can I watch the TV? He built the TTT prototype himself over the past year and that a commercial version would cost about $875 to make. My question is, how many flavors can this thing produce? It uses ten flavor canisters, but it’s sprayed in combination, so there might be like, three or four canisters spraying to create a particular food or taste or whatever. How many flavors can it produce in total? That’s what I want to know. Potential applications can include distance learning if you want to become like a wine expert or Cook tasting games and quizzes. Yoshida has also been in talks with companies about using his spray technology for applications like a device that can apply a pizza or chocolate taste to a slice of toasted bread. So now he just wants to fake food that might be good for children who are picky eaters. You could mask the taste of broccoli and turn it into like Mac and cheese or something. I just have a hit on your hands. One student demonstrated that for reporters telling the screen she wanted to taste sweet chocolate after a few tries. That means it did not work. An automated voice repeated the order and flavor jets, spritz the sample onto a plastic sheet, which was one of the canisters chocolate flavor. Because that’s not that impressive. But if it makes, like, four or five different flavors to get a chocolate taste, that would be kind of cool. It’s kind of like milk chocolate. That’s not really a ringing endorsement of the flavor. It’s kind of like milk chocolate. It’s sweet, like a chocolate sauce. I think this idea might require a few more years in the lab. All right. Final story we have for you today. Federal prosecutors in Tennessee announced Tuesday that they charged a woman with interfering with a flight crew, accusing her of kicking and hitting flight attendants and screaming that she wanted to get off the plane. The incident aboard a Spirit Air course Spirit Airlines flight from Florida, Florida our most fucked up state. Yeah, it was a flight from Florida to Nashville. It occurred on November 27 after two airline passengers asked to change seats because a woman’s disruptive behavior made them feel uncomfortable. The woman, a 43 year old named Amanda Renee Henry, had acted flirtatious and, quote, made lewd sexual advances towards the passengers, placing her hands on both of them and then even laying her head on one passenger’s shoulder. A flight attendant told federal authorities that Henry, who appeared drunk, grew irate and belligerent. She’s a mean drunk. Once the men moved to different seats, she didn’t like being denied, the complaint said. Henry grew even more disruptive when the flight attendant asked her to move to a different row away from the emergency exits. When they requested that Henry move, she refused and grabbed her carryon bag and ran towards the front of the aircraft, screaming, I’m getting off this plane. They were in the air at the time, though I hope that carry on bag contained a parachute. Another flight attendant blocked Henry from getting to the main cabin door and began to restrain her, at which time Henry began to kick and hit the flight attendant. Henry also assaulted the other flight attendant who assisted in trying to restrain her. Yes, according to one news source here, she’s accused of attacking flight attendants who tried to restrain her, punching, kicking, and pulling one of the flight attendants by the ponytail. She eventually was restrained, and a passenger helped to keep her calm. For the rest of the flight flight attendants have faced a surge in bad behavior by passengers. We’ve read many stories like this in the past year or so, driven in large part by disputes over a mask mandate for air travelers. The FAA has received 5779 reports of unruly behavior this year and launched 325 enforcement cases. I don’t have any audio from this particular flight or really any airline freak out today. But I do have a fight between a masked customer and an unmasked customer who has been asked to leave many times. She refuses the masked guy. He’s not taking any shit today. Fuck you, putting everybody else out. Get the fuck away from me. I wonder if he’s a sassy gay. You have no mask on and you’re in a store where you’re not going to be without me. That’s not your business. It is my business. No, it’s not. Fuck off, you stupid cunt. She is standing close to him. That is Kunty behavior breathing down this guy’s neck. I am definitely leaning towards homosexual here, by the way. What’s your name? Because you told me to get out from here. I’m going to call the manager and I’m going to tell them

Tim Henson:
I actually think gay guys can get away with calling women. Cunts to their faces just seems more acceptable than when a straight guy does it. You know, I know that’s not fair, but that’s how the world works. We’re an oppressed minority. You’re a fucking Con. Gay guys say Con way better than straight guys. Get out of my way. No mask on, you fucking cunts. Get out of my way. You’re a cunt. You are a cunt. That’s how gay guys say it. And they walk really fast and they’re swinging their arms. You’re a cunt. Hey, honey, you’re a cunt. Get out of my way. I got things to do and people will blow. And straight guys call women cunts. There’s always that possibility. It’s going to also get physically violent. You fucking cunt. Straight guys like to put their hands on women. Really? Show them who’s boss, who’s the man? I’m the man. You’re the cunt. Meanwhile, gays don’t want anything to do with women, right? I don’t want to touch her. They treat the whole situation like it’s a scene from Dynasty or something like Knots Landing, one of those old prime time soaps where the women are always fighting, saying Caddy shit to one another. Gay guys relish that word. Can’t. That’s why they say it’s a great. Yeah, I can’t. All right, a lot of thoughts about the word cunt. That my friends, is your distorted news for Wednesday. Let’s do a couple of voicemails to get the hell out of here. Well, we are trying to catch up here on Voicemails. I’m backlogged not only on regular voicemails, but Patreon calls. If you pledge $5 to our Patreon account, Patreon. Comdstorted view, you get access to a special voicemail line where I will play your calls first. I think we should be able to catch up today on those. There are other ways to contact me. Show at Distorted view. Com. I’m all over social media at Distorted View on Twitter and Instagram, Facebook. Comdistortedview show. And of course, don’t forget the discord. That’s where all of our freaks hang out. All the listeners of DV, if you’d like to chat with them. There’s a link on the main navigation bar over there at distorted view. Com. It’s free, of course. And the fun time there’s over 1000 members, I guess, and you could be a part of it again. There’s a link on the main navigation bar over there at distorted. Com. Well, what can I say? I think your site is a bit rubbish. To be honest with you. Having said that, I think your program is very good programs. Good websites, rubbish seem to get your thousands of previous episodes. It’s a bit of a pain in the ass. Having trouble with the archives. Email me. I will try to provide some free tech support. Eventually. The goal is to have all of the archives available on Apple podcasts where you can subscribe that way. And I’m trying to figure out how to do that on Spotify as well. You know exactly what your problem is, and I can try to help you. It’s a bit of a pain in the ass, but yeah, Cat Lady and all the other people. Quite funny. All right. Seems to like everyone and he likes the show. He just dislikes the website. Hey, Timmy, it’s Rob from Texas. Here. I am very behind on your shows.

Tim Henson:
Currently. I just finished the September 26 show, but we’re talking about, well, it got brought up again in the voicemail. Circuit City Divex all that shit. Do you know what else Circuit City invented? That’s actually the biggest company in this, I guess, sector in the United States or possibly the world. Carmax. They are the largest used car retailer, at least in the US, right? I think I did read something about that. Circuit City had something to do with CarMax, maybe even in the world. But, yeah, they started Circuit City started Car Max. And then after a few years, Circuit City started doing not too hot. And CarMax was like, Yo, fuck this. We’re going to go. They bailed. We’re going to separate from you all. Circuit City was like, we created you. You’d be nothing without us. There’s just a little bit of an interesting history there for you, Timmy. Boo. Yeah. Circuit City created CarMax. Interesting.

Tim Henson:
I think this is Love Lady Cat Lady. She may be dying here. Her last dying breath is going to be her calling into the voicemail line.

Tim Henson:
I can’t understand what you’re saying, but I am very concerned for you. Love Lady, Cat Lady. That’s the last time she called. By the way, I hope she’s alive. I got another present in the mail, by the way, I think from Love Lady, Cat Lady. It’s a purple T shirt. Second purple T shirt she gave me, by the way, I think it was her that gave me the Daddy T shirt last year. Now I got one that says something like I’m into weird shit, or I like, weird shit. Hey, Tim, it’s the real healing comment with a couple of quick comments for the fake Haleys comet. The most recent one. Anyway, first of all, there’s multiple fake Haleys Comets that call in. They sound nothing like him, but we played one yesterday on the show. I think that’s who he’s referring to here Haley’s comment. The most recent one. Anyway, first of all, excellent impression. I think you’re one of the best impressions of my voice I’ve heard so far. Second, your bits that did not age well, idea. I think that’s a good one. And I think it’s good enough that you should come up with your own calling name. Don’t piggyback off my name recognition. You could be Kaylee’s Homicide. Is there some recognition in your own right for that idea? Especially if you’re going to keep doing it. And finally, my wife has never paid me that’s way too dominant a thing for her to do. I’m the Daddy. Maybe you could be like, I’m trying to think of usernames for this guy. It could be a different comet. He could be like Hail BOP, the only other comet I know that’s just because of the Heavens gate cult. Hi, Timmy Boo. It’s little baby faggot. I think I’m your favorite faggot. I’d like to think so. I’m not gay, but that’s how these things go anyways. Is Little baby Faggot my favorite faggot. Roy killer war is dead. So I guess yes, you’re my most favorite living. I also had a sleep study done on the 30 December. So just recently and I got a good score. I had 85 interruptions. Holy shit. I had, like, twelve or 15 or something. You had 85 /hour and the CPAP machine that I’m currently using doesn’t work because my brain broke. To be fair, I talk to the nurse today and she’s like, that number is probably really low. You’re probably much higher, but you didn’t get much sleep, so I guess tomorrow I’ll find out what my true number is. It might be up to 85. We’ll compare notes, so I have to get what’s called an AFV, which is basically a type of ventilator. You’re on a ventilator now. Not necessarily a cheapap, so I’m trying to get one, but it looks like there’s a two to three month wait. Yeah. So in the end time, I guess I’ll just regularly die in my sleep as well. I feel like when you get to that level, the hospital should be able to loan you. They’ve got to have a spare one around. You’re not breathing more than you’re breathing at night. You know what I mean? Well, I feel for you, man. I don’t know what to do. Let me know how you’re doing. I hope everything is going well. What you can do to love you too. I hope you get your machine ASAP fucking covet, man and their supply chain shortages. I blame the Asians because of you Chinese people. Fuck you. Fuck you. And I don’t want to hear about you eating dumplings either keep that to yourself, Asians. All right. That’s all the time we have on this edition of the show. Watch you guys do movies show at distorted view. Com. Histor. Com is our official website voicemail on for you 2006 644 63 that’s 266 So God is it. Oh, God. Fuck off, you stupid. Cut. Spread the distortion STD. Tell all your friends about the show. Don’t forget to rate us and review us wherever you can. Criticize Podcasts Tomorrow will be a Sideshow exclusive program. I should say the next episode of DB will be a Sideshow exclusive one. And then after that, I will do one more episode for everyone this week. Until then, have a great day. Bye

Tim Henson:
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